


Dim the Sun

by TimmyJaybird



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, TRoS Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:19:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: Rey's faith in Ben's survival is rewarded- but being alive doesn't mean being healed. Or forgiven. And while her affections for him are a world of their own to be worked out, self discovery and forgiveness need to happen as well, if they're going to become anything more than war broken souls.So, to Naboo they go, at the request of an old family friend. To discover a plethora of could-have-beens, and possibly find the reason why the Force gave Ben back to begin with.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 37
Kudos: 95





	1. Running Back to You

**Author's Note:**

> TROS was finally the fire that lit under my ass to get me writing some Star Wars. I've been out of the game for a long time, so we'll see what sort of words I've got left, but there was a story in my head I felt needed to be told.
> 
> My knowledge of the fandom comes from the movies and Google for the gaps, so please do bare that in mind. Happy reading!

Rey gently folded the fabric over the sabers, hiding the well loved metal from the rough sands of Tatooine. A gust blew up around her, whipped stray bits of hair against her cheeks and forehead, but she ignored it. The fact that she was here, in this warm sand, on this long forgotten world, burying such a huge piece of who she had become-

She could barely notice the world around her.

She stood up, took a few steps back, and then exhaled slowly, willing the sand to open up. Slowly the sabers descended, disappearing into the depths, until they felt like the faintest pulse within the force below the world, just a simple, slumbering pulse.

Gone.

But never forgotten.

Rey breathed a single sigh, before a roaming woman’s voice broke her silence. So long since anyone has been here, and who _was_ she?

Rey stared at the woman, weather worn clothes and skin and eyes, staring at her and knowing nothing, nothing at all. Not her history as a scavenger from Jakku, not her years of feeling unwanted. Not her struggles, her happiness and sorrows over her time with the Resistance.

Not the blood in her veins.

“Rey,” she finally offered, before glancing off, feeling the warm sun for what felt like the first time that day. In the wisps of sand, she could almost swore she saw them, Luke and Leia, smiling down at her for even being there. For waking up that morning, for believing that she had the strength to even breathe.

And she _knew_.

“Rey Skywalker.”

The woman hummed, as if the name meant nothing, but to Rey it was everything. It was a history, a legacy, a _family_ . And if she had learned anything through out this adventure, this compressed lifetime, it was that family wasn’t blood. It was built from sweat and tears and harsh truths and _love_.

She would never be a Palpatine.

The woman turned to go, and Rey took one last look at the sand that had swallowed the borrowed sabers, before turning to go. She hiked through the warm sand to her speeder and hoisted herself up, giving it a good rev before jerking up into the sky.

Tatooine wasn’t too hard to navigate, she felt. A desert like Jakku, stay here long enough and you’d learn each dune, each jutting rock. She almost liked it, in some sort of twisted homesick way.

She didn’t plan to stay.

Her ship was a few miles out, housing Poe who had accompanied her, with BB-8. She might have preferred Finn, but there was something to a former Stormtrooper being a real face of the rebellion. And with a galaxy to rebuild, they still needed to inspire hope.

She skipped above the sand to a stop, hopping off and heading right for the open bay. The ship was a bit bulkier than was Poe’s style, but it wasn’t meant for _battle_. They had stops to make. People to meet.What supplies they had to distribute.

She found BB-8 rolling around and gave him a little smile, before heading right for the tiny little _room_ that was hers. It was just large enough for the fold down cot from the wall where she slept, and had a shelf above holding a few personal possessions.

She shut herself in, climbed up onto the bed and folded her legs. In the dark, it didn’t seem to matter that she close her eyes, but she did it anyway. Habit, truly.

And against the sounds of the wind whipping sand along the ship’s walls, she _reached_. She reached for that presence that always seemed to buzz at the back of her mind, that hum of a pulse that had begun to blur into her own, in the final days.

She reached across a void that had never been, for a hand that she prayed would grasp her own.

If she had stopped feeling him, the moment he disintegrated into the force, Rey would have let him go. She would have held Ben in her heart, along with every other heartache that had helped to mold her in some way. And she would have moved on, as she always had.

But despite him fading, he had never _disappeared_ . It was as if within the long stretches of silence, a breath would carry across her cheeks, a single _thump_ of a heart would echo her own. It felt as if the very outline of a ghost clung to her.

And she clung right back.

She clenched her hands, despite trying to relax. She breathed, and as her heart _thumped_ there was an echo, and then another. It was as if something was trying to pull through, to claw its way to her, like she was the tether of a fraying rope.

Her mouth moved, silently forming his name. In moments like this, she swore she felt the warm tingle of his kiss, the shocked and yet _sweet_ return he had given her in those final moments. She took another breath, and this time whispered it audibly, _Ben_.

Ben, Ben, Ben.

_Rey_.

Her eyes shot open, the voice fresh within her mind, just as a fist knocked loudly on her door. She swallowed, glanced around her, but she was still in the dark, cramped quarters she had begun in. She was alone.

...But possibly…

“Rey!”

Rey reached out, pressed the sensor by the door, and it slid open. Light flooded in and she squinted, Poe frowning at her.

“You hiding?” he asked, even though he knew she wasn’t. His attempts at humor left it so they didn’t have to discuss _who_ she was reaching for.

They all knew. They didn’t all agree.

“This planet is nearly dead,” Poe said, as Rey unfolded herself and climbed out, taking a moment to stretch. “I haven’t seen a soul.”

“I saw a woman,” Rey admitted, following Poe as he turned, walking through the ship.

“Well then she’s one of what, 10 folks left here?” He shrugged a shoulder, plopping down in a chair and swiveling to a set of controls. A screen showed a rough map of the planet in front of them. “Lieutenant Connix and I agree, we’re out in the morning. You’ve done what you need to do?”

Rey nodded. She had. She’d buried her possibilities, so she could embrace the end result. She could move on.

***

She awoke from dead sleep, eyes opening in the dark. Something had woken her, but she didn’t know _what_. A pull inside her, slack strings going taut suddenly. Something was wrong. Right?

She opened her door and climbed out of the small sleeping quarter, walking on light feet through the ship. BB-8 sat idle, didn’t even acknowledge her as she opened the bay and let herself out into the cool Tatooine night. It had a chill to it, like so many desert planets. The sun went down and the sand lost its warmth.

She glanced around her, but it was all the same. Dunes and her speeder, nothing more. Still, something was pounding inside her, so strong it was painful in her chest.

She hopped up onto her speeder, jerked into the air, and was off, chasing the feeling as if it was laid out below her. She gripped the controls tightly, her pulse hammering in her head, something in her buzzing louder and louder and _louder_ -

And then screaming as if she was being torn open. A void erupting and then being knit over. She jerked to the side, wincing because it _hurt_ in some deep way, before it turned into a soothing hum inside her. A feeling she _knew_.

Her bond. Restored to what it had been, before Palpatine, before Ben had given what was left of him to give _her_ another day.

The speeder dropped roughly and she stumbled off it, feeling dizzy. She fell into the sand, hands catching herself, and for a moment crawled against the night wind, desperate and blind because this could only mean one thing. It _had_ to.

She pushed herself up, vision hazy as the wind kicked up and blurred the world in a wave of sand. But as it cleared, she could see something, just in the distance, in the light of the stars. A shape, nothing more than a shadow, but it felt so _right_ that she never questioned it.

She ran. She ran until her calves hurt from the exertion against the sand, until her lungs burned and her eyes watered. But every step brought shape and definition, until she could make out the dark cloak, the breadth of those shoulders and the waves of dark hair in the rough wind.

She wanted to shout, but the air was gone, pushing into her blood to keep propelling her forward. Instead she watched the recognition light in his eyes, before she simply threw herself into him, knocking him back into the sand.

It sprayed up over her legs as she clung to him, shaking with adrenaline and joy and disbelief. This was no desert mirage, he was solid in her arms. He smelled of something aside of sand and wind and sweat that she couldn’t place, but it didn’t _belong_ and she knew he had to be real.

She felt hands find her waist, tentative at first, before arms wound around her tightly. Rey closed her eyes, felt the tears from the wind prickling into something stronger. She shuddered out a breath and simply revelled in the rise and fall of his chest, beneath her.

Ben was there. He was alive. He was laying in the sand of Tatooine beneath her, and it was as it always should have been.

Carefully, Rey pushed herself up enough to look down at him. He stared back, dark eyes that saw too much of her and never enough. And she could only smile.

“Welcome back,” she whispered, her voice breaking- and the faintest curl to his lips grew, the smallest smile that made her want to burst into a thousand stars. She pressed a hand to his cheek, rubbed her thumb along the ridge of his scar. “Don’t ever do that again.”

His smile grew, and Rey could only grin back.

**

She sped over the cool desert with Ben’s arms locked around her waist. She had wanted to lay in the sand with him forever, to simply exist- but her mind had forced her to be logical. She had questions, she wasn’t even sure if he had answers, but she wouldn’t find them sitting in cold sand.

Still, his arms around her made her dizzy in a way she wasn’t used to. It almost made it hard to focus- _almost_.

She dropped them down abruptly, and they both hopped off. The ship still seemed to be sleeping, which was fine. Rey didn’t need Poe’s commentary just yet.

She led Ben inside, pointed to a chair, and without question he sat. She tried to dust some of the sand off herself, wasted a few moments taking steadying breaths, and then finally asked-

“Where have you been?”

She watched his hands fold in his lap- at least he was clothed, despite leaving _those_ behind earlier. And that would have been an entirely different awkward greeting, Rey was sure.

Ben squeezed his fingers, seemed to fidget, seemed so different and yet so perfectly himself. And then, “I only have fragments.”

“Fragments are better than nothing.” She folded her arms, and wanted to close the distance, to just touch him again. To keep reminding herself he was here, he was flesh and blood. But she held firm. 

He hummed then, took a moment to try to find the words. “It was just… existence. Not like sitting here, but as if i was…” he glanced away, thought on it. “The wind. And your pulse.” He glanced back at her. “I felt that, faintly.”

Rey nodded. She had never stopped feeling him.

“There was a voice,” he admitted, “not you. Not… my mother.” Those words seemed to sting him. “I didn’t recognize her. But she kept me focused. As if she kept guiding me back to our pulse.”

Rey bit her lip. They had thought he was lost to the Force, as Luke and Leia were. And perhaps they had all been right- but the fact that he had _returned_ was unfathomable.

She finally closed the distance, gently cupping his face in both her hands and studying him. He seemed younger, stripped away of his mask and the agony that he had worn like armor. She leaned down, pressed her forehead to his, felt his hands reach up and cover her own. She wanted to whisper that she was happy he was back, that she had felt his absence and yet his presence, at the same time. 

She wanted to demand he never leave again.

Instead, she heard her name spoken, and jerked back, torn from the little world it seemed she and Ben could always build around them. Poe stood a few steps back, sleep tussled hair and tired but wide eyes, studying her and more acutely, the man she was so dangerously close to.

“What in all the fucking _stars_ ,” he said, and Rey straightened up, pulling her hands from Ben. “Rey, he…”

“Came back,” she finished, as if he had merely gone for a _stroll_ in the night. Poe frowned.

“You told us he _disappeared_. Like the Force swallowed him whole.”

“Well, it spit him back out.” She cocked her hip, lifted her chin as if that was the _end_.

“Well _great_ ,” Poe mumbled, before turning those burning eyes on Ben himself. The distrust was obvious, and Rey couldn’t _blame_ Poe, but she wouldn’t allow it. Not now, not in this new world that needed every single one of them.

“Whatever you’re thinking, let it die.” She walked over to him, reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Who he was, that man is dead. Kylo Ren is dead.” She squeezed, then turned her head and looked back at Ben, sitting there and seeming so out of place and yet so right. “Ben Solo is the only one who survived.”

“I want to trust you,” Poe whispered, his voice falling to quiet even Rey had to strain to hear him so close. “Rey, I _want_ to, really. But it’s not that easy- and it won’t be for the rest of the _galaxy_.”

"Then I’ll convince them.” She squeezed his shoulder again, before turning and walking back to Ben. She reached down and took his hand, rubbing her thumb along his knuckles. “I’ll convince everyone.”

Poe couldn’t doubt her, not when she looked at Ben like she had found her missing breath.

**

Sleep seemed a long lost love at that point, so Rey was pleased when Poe suggested they just head out. It didn’t seem the desert planet had more to offer them, anyway.

She strapped in up front next to Poe, who had said precious little. He seemed content to avoid her gaze and prepare his craft for launch.

“Poe,” she tried, reaching over and touching his arm. He paused at the touch, before sighing, shaking his head.

“Just be honest with me,” he said, turning to study her. “For all we’ve been through, be honest with me.”

“Always.”

“Do you really believe he can be… anything aside of what _Kylo Ren_ was?” There wasn’t malice in his words now, just a guarded sorrow, as if he felt for _her_ , as if he was sad for her answer.

But Rey could only smile, softly. “Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. “He’s been more than that for a while now.”

“And after all the _tragedy_ he caused, can he really wash his hands of all that blood?”

This time, Rey did pause. She couldn’t _deny_ what he had done. Who he had been. How _awful_ he once was.

“That’s up to him,” she finally said, glancing back, seeing him sitting, staring out at the desert night. Quiet. So ungodly _quiet_. “If he can forgive himself, then maybe.”

Poe didn’t argue with her, just gave her a nod and turned back to his controls.

**

The landing was a bit rough, high winds and a gust of frigid rain making things less than ideal. But still, Rey was glad to be back. The resistance base was a sort of home, in a sense.

She unstrapped before Poe and moved back through the ship, pausing to brush Ben’s shoulder as he undid his own buckles. She offered him a smile, tried to coax the same from him. He tried, but the slight curve of his lips never reached his eyes.

Rey let her hand drop, took one of his own and tangled their fingers together, squeezing. “Relax,” she whispered, “you’re Leia’s _son_. There’s always love for you because of that.”

Ben parted his lips, as if he was about to speak, but then pressed them tightly shut, sighing gently. Before Rey could prompt him, Poe walked past them, straightening his shoulders and seeming to prepare himself for more than a welcome home. “Let’s go you two,” he said, “and get this over with.”

They stepped off the ship in a group, and despite the rain and the early hours, it seemed the base was alive and pulsing. Ships going in and out, cargo being loaded, unloaded. And endless network expanding, attempting to find the foundation to rebuild.

Still, as they walked, folks paused, stared. Rey heard a whisper, saw frowns, and reached for Ben’s hand again, taking it. She felt dwarfed next to him, and yet something about him made her feel _bigger_ , made him seem small.

A following was growing, flocking them as they moved. Poe stopped, and Rey was about to address everyone, when instead, he spoke.

“Eyes on more important things, guys,” he said, glancing around. “There’s no threat here. I’m promising you.”

He glanced at Rey, and she smiled. Even if he doubted Ben, he didn’t doubt _her_.

“This is Leia’s _son_ ,” he continued, “and if he hadn’t been there with Rey, maybe we wouldn’t be _here_. So keep that in mind and leave him be.”

There was a curse, another language echoing loudly, and then some laughs. Rey frowned, straightening her shoulders. She lifted her chin and spoke _loudly_ . “If there’s a problem with what the general said, you can come to _me_. Leia would be appalled to know that we ever turned away someone willing to help.”

The murmurs paused, as if Rey saying the late general’s name was enough to bring them all to tearful respect. Poe nodded to her, and they continued, the small parade of three- and one droid- through out the resistance camp.

Poe departed once the crowds thinned, and Rey led Ben towards the tent that was her own. By the time she had tossed the flap back, the cold rain had left them both damp, goosebumps rising up on exposed skin.

The room was dark, and Ben seemed swallowed up as he sat down on a crate, over turned and empty, once housing spare parts. Rey stayed her few steps back, watching him, as he bent his head, rubbed at his temples.

“Ben,” she said, slowly, softly. “You’re _quiet_.” He didn’t glance up at that, only lifted his head to look at his hands, before clenching them slowly.

“I shouldn’t be here.”

Rey frowned. “Of course you should. You couldn’t stay on Tatooine, it’s a dying desert. There’s barely anything left.”

“No.” Ben shook his head, standing up. Tall and shadow like and yet faded and barely there. “Here, with you.”

Rey bit her cheek, felt the sting her sharp teeth caused, and let it ground her. “Who else would you be with?”

Ben met her eyes, looked shocked for a moment, before he shook his head. He gave her a sad smile, and there was almost the rumble of a laugh on his breath. “No one,” he said, taking the few steps back to her. He reached up, skimmed his fingertips along her cheek, felt burning skin despite the chill of the rain outside. “There’s no one but you.”

Rey’s chest tightened painfully, and she reached up, grasped his hand and pushed it firmly to her cheek. His fingertips were rougher than she remembered, but had she ever gotten to truly notice them? She felt her breath shuddering, as if she knew then, and didn’t want to hear him say the words.

“But I was-”

“You weren’t dead,” she said, hot, fresh anger lacing her words- not for him, but for the world that had put them in this position, that had even given him cause to think that. “I never stopped feeling you. Like an echo.”

Like a second heartbeat.

Ben leaned closer, pressed his forehead to Rey’s. “Maybe I was,” he said, and it shouldn’t have been so easy to say. “Maybe I deserved that. Giving you everything I had, it was the only _good_ thing I think I’ve ever done.”

“Then start doing more.” She reached out, clutched at his shirt with her other hand. “Because you’re here and you _can_ . Don’t you _ever_ leave again, Ben. Ever.” She closed her eyes, felt them burning, but the tears didn’t come. She’d shed enough in her life, Rey swore she was dry down to her bones.

Ben’s arm hooked around her lithe waist, pulled her in closer, until she was pressed up against him, her head moving the cradle against his chest. His other hand toyed with her hair, the wet, stray strands escaping their holdings. She wanted to climb inside his bones, in that very second. To become the marrow there, so he was forced to grow around her, to move and love and lie and always _be_ there, never able to escape her.

It was ludacris, and she couldn’t deny how badly it made her heart stir, her belly go painfully tight and yet fluttering wildly at the same time.

Her hand gripping his shirt slid up, along his torso to press to her chest, next to her cheek. She rose with each breath, and it was reassurance that he was, indeed, alive again. Still. Her fingers flexed, pressed gently to solid muscle and taust skin, kept from her by wet, chilled fabric.

She wanted to push it away. She wanted to get her fingers in his hair and on his skin, to memorize every bit of him that she never thought she’d have the chance to. She wanted to kiss him again, so badly and so suddenly it made her breath catch.

But the suddenness caused hesitation, and before she could even move from his embrace, she heard someone calling her from beyond the flap of her tent. Ben moved before she did, putting a few steps between them, and Rey turned, calling out and being greeted by a wet and travel ready looking Lando, allowing himself in.

“Sir,” she said, not knowing how _else_ to address the man. He smiled, dazzling white, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes.

“None of that girl,” he said, waving her off. “The last Jedi won’t be addressing me formally anytime soon.”

Rey bit her tongue at that. Thankfully she had been so _busy_ after the final battle that she hadn’t been able to stop and hear that word so often. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Gow it felt on her.

If it should be.

Lando turned his stare to Ben, and while Ben glanced away, Lando only clicked his tongue and smiled more. “Lucky for you, you look like your mother.”

Ben turned his gaze back quickly, eyes a little wide. Lando kept a warm smile though, and reached out, gently placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder. The grip was light but welcoming.

“And lucky for us, you’re here. You might not think that’s the sentatment going around, but give it time. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us, and without your mom, it’s going to take each and everyone one of us looking for the best in ourselves to get it done.” He glanced over at Rey. “And you’re in good hands if you need help.”

Rey smiled at the praise, couldn’t help herself. Lando glanced back at Ben before he stepped back.

“Just wanted to drop in before things get going. I’m leaving in a few hours, despite the storm. Should rage for the rest of the night and probably the day, so… get cozy.”

Rey felt the faintest hint of warmth rise on her cheeks, and she reached up, brushed at them as if the stray, wet strands of her hair were bothering her.

“I’ll be in touch, but the two of you take care. Of yourselves, and each other.” Lando gave them another nod, before he let himself out, back into the rain. Rey turned back to Ben after he had gone, and swore she could see the racing thoughts behind his eyes. Could feel the unease, in the crackling, warm static of their bond.

“I’m freezing,” she said, not allowing him to voice the concerns. Wanting to take them away for a moment. Whatever was happening, it was happening _fast_ and they needed a moment to breathe, before they began sorting these things out. “And you’re soaked, so I imagine you are too.”

Ben glanced down at himself, before he shrugged and pulled his cloak off, tossing it back on the crate he had initially sat on. “Good enough,” he said, and Rey frowned.

“There’s no _good enough_ when we have the means to be better.” _Good enough_ was for Jakku, for cold nights and time worn blankets. Here, they could have more.

She walked past him, felt his eyes more than anything else as he turned and watched her cross the dark tent to her bed. She tossed back the blanket, before reaching for the still damp clothing wrapped around her torso. She glanced up, and gave him a smile that felt too playful and completely _right_.

“Turn around,” she said, lifting one hand and twirling her finger. Ben just stared for a moment, before it seemed to dawn on him that she truly meant to disrobe, and he was quick to give her his back.

It was nice to know he trusted her enough to give it without question.

Rey peeled the clothing off, kicking her boots aside and leaving everything in a heap on top of a barely closed trunk. It had books and a few more spare, rusty parts inside.

From another open trunk she pulled a loose tunic and slipped into it. It fell well down her thighs, and didn’t leave her feeling overly exposed, even as she climbed into the bed and scooted to the far side.

“Alright,” she said, then added, “I’m decent.”

Ben turned, and the surprise showed in those dark eyes again. Rey felt them examine her, even as he forced them away, to _anything_ else around the tent.

“And I'm tired,” she said, even though a part of her thought she could go without sleep for the rest of her days. “I imagine you are too. The bed’s big enough, and I doubt you want me to ask Poe to let you bed down with him.”

“I will gladly pass.” Ben looked around again, and Rey patted the bed next to her.

“I won’t bite.”

She saw something flash in his eyes, and in a voice that was much more reminiscent of a man behind a mask, and not the man in front of her, he asked, “Why not?”

Rey felt goosebumps rise on her legs, her arms. The faintest catch of her breath would have gone unnoticed, but she _knew_ Ben heard it. His eyes seemed to go alight for a single, lost moment, before he came back into himself. He walked over to her, carefully, stopped at the side of the bed, and reached out, brushing stray hairs off her forehead.

“You don’t need to do this.”

Rey huffed, rolling her eyes and pushing his hand away. “Take off some of those wet clothes and just get in the bed with me, or I _will_ let you sleep on the ground.”

Ben smiled, this time something resembling the honest type, and moved to unfasten his boots. Rey exhaled slowly as he did, calming her heartbeat, and pointedly not trying to think about how easy it was to spike the tension between them.

Ben left his boots neatly next to hers, and she pointed at his shirt. “That too. I’d offer you something to wear but I don’t think anything would fit.”

She smiled, and he huffed, bemused, before peeling off the damp, dark fabric. He left it on one of the various boxes Rey let litter her space, and sat on the very edge of the bed. Rey flopped down onto her back, feeling much more comfortable on this plush cot than the cramped one from the ship. Feeling, really, like she was living an obscenely luxurious life, with her small bed under an old canopy tent, in the rain.

Better than where she came from.

“You’ll get a crick in your back if you sleep sitting up,” Rey pointed out, pulling the blanket up. She rolled slightly to her side so she could fight with her hair, pulling it free from its holding, as Ben finally climbed in properly, laying on his side and perched precariously close to the edge.

Rey slipped the ties around her wrist and sighed, throwing the blanket over him and then reaching blindly, grasping him by the waist of his pants and forcibly dragging him back a few inches. He made a little surprised sound- and _gods and stars_ , it was endearing and made her want to grin.

“You roll off, you wake me up. And I'm looking forward to a few good uninterrupted hours of sleep for once.” WIth that she rolled onto her other side, leaving her back to him. As badly as she wanted to tangle up against him, to find heat buried in his skin, and to dream knowing that the frayed edges of their bond could mend and intertwine, she also knew that to take too much would only let them spiral.

Ben was back. He had followed her from Tatooine to a planet filled with resistance members who hated him. He was trusting her, and she would make sure that each step she took gave him the time he needed, to sort through the things in his head. To sort through _whatever_ had happened.

To ensure that he continued to trust her enough to open up, about it all.

Rey closed her eyes, and despite the inches between them, could feel the heat from his skin. She smiled, reaching up with one hand to press her fingertips to her lips, which remembered his warmth from those lost moments as if they had just happened.

And in the dark, she whispered, more content than she had been since the end of the war, “Goodnight Ben.”


	2. Was it a Dream?

Ben woke to the gentle sounds of rain still. Bleary eyed in the dark, he gave a little groan and stretched out, the bed beneath him far more comfortable than the last time he had woken up in the sands of Tatooine.

He shifted, rolling onto his back and staring up at the dark void of the tent above him. Next to him he heard Rey’s gentle breathing. She was still curled on her side, had barely moved at all from where he assumed she had begun the night. Gently, he rolled onto his other side to face her, study the hunch of her shoulders. She had curled up, he could just make out the curve of her spine, the way her knees had pulled up slightly.

It occurred to him that this was probably how she had slept her whole life. Curled up for safety, to fit into smaller places- unmoving because there was simply nowhere for her to go.

He clenched his fist, felt his nails digging into his palms. His chest ached in a way he wasn’t accustomed to, when he thought about her. In any way. Even before, when he was completely enthralled with the Dark Side, she had stirred something in him. Something that felt beyond dead- like it simply had never  _ been _ .

He uncurled his fist and carefully reached out. His fingers brushed her back gently, felt her warmth through the fabric of her tunic. She gave a small sigh, but didn’t seem to wake, much to Ben’s shock. He assumed she slept on such high alert that it wouldn’t even be  _ considered _ sleeping.

He traced his hand down her spine, stopping where the blanket covered her. He wanted to slide his arm over her, press up against her and fit like it seemed his very soul did, into her’s. And yet touching her, even being  _ near _ her, was terrifying. It brought to life so many different emotions-  _ desires _ \- inside him, and he barely knew if he could control them.

Instead he pulled his hand back and tossed the blanket off. He slid back into his boots and found his shirt from the night before, now dry like the pants he had slept in. He put it on, then crossed the tent, grabbing his cloak as he walked and tossing it over his shoulders. He paused at the entrance to look back, to just glimpse the shadow Rey was in her bed.

Then he tossed the hood up and stepped outside.

Morning had come- and truly, he had no idea if it was early morning, late, or even afternoon. But it was brighter than it had been when they returned. The sky was still overcast and grim, rain a steady mist around him.

He walked steadily, kept his hood up. Most he passed didn’t look at him twice- everyone seemed preoccupied,  _ busy _ , which was fine. For once, Ben wanted to disappear completely.

He navigated off the base easily, and into the dense forest they were nestled inside. Glancing around he could see remnants of former training, marks from where a lightsaber and clearly cut through branches, logs, rocks. 

He was careful not to touch any of those.

He walked well beyond the trampled and abused terrain, into depths of the forest that seemed untouched. Only then did he paused, gently tip his head back so his hood fell away, and the droplets of rain that managed to get through the canopy could dust his face and hair. Slowly, in and out, as he pulled himself into his very center.

And then, after it seemed time had stopped itself and silence was all there was, he  _ screamed _ . He screamed as if his lungs were being ripped from him and jerked his head up, eyes wide and fingers curling into near fists. The rocks embedded in the ground around him shook and rose quickly, trembling in the air. He clenched his fists so tightly his nails dug into his palms, and they shot out, banging against trees and other fauna until they tumbled to the ground.

Lungs and throat aching, Ben dropped down to his knees, hanging his head. He hadn’t allowed himself to touch the Force since he’d woken up on Tatooine. He’d felt it coursing in him still, beating like another heart, but had been  _ terrified _ . Terrified because it felt tainted, like ink in his veins.

Because it  _ terrified _ him, now that he saw what he had become, how far he had fallen.

He looked back up, hair sticking to his forehead, his cheeks. Why was he even  _ here _ ? Why had the Force rejected him, spit him back out into an existence he didn’t deserve? He was dead, and he had  _ accepted _ that, when he’d let his life force pour into Rey. She would do far more than he ever could-

It was the one good thing he felt he had done with himself.

He closed his eyes, tried to piece together what it had been like, inside that void. Nothing and everything, and yet the memories seemed locked away. He had heard voices- maybe his mother’s, his father’s. Voices he hadn’t deserved, either.

And someone else, someone calm spoken and soothing. A woman he didn’t know. She was the only thing he could pick out from the tumult of memories. Her words were lost, surely, but the sound of her voice remained.

He swallowed thickly, wanted to reach out again to the force and let its power course through his fingertips. But that outburst had left him unsteady, worried that it would feel so good he simply wouldn’t stop. Instead he curled his hands into fists, ignored the sting of his now injured palms, and tried to breath. In slowly. Count to ten. Out. In again.

He should have heard the footsteps, but he didn’t. He lost himself in the concentration, in the mantra of breathing, that when a voice broke through, he nearly jumped.

“Always hoped you’d end up on your knees someday.”

Ben’s eyes shot open, and he turned his head, glanced over his shoulder. He recognized the man standing a few paces back, arms folded, staring at him with hard eyes. One of Rey’s close companions, not the pilot-

The stormtrooper?

The man walked towards him, circled around to his front. Ben let him, didn’t move, didn’t tense. His frown was hard, made his face seem stone like.

There was a long moment of silence, before the man reached his hand out, slowly. Palm open, offering. Ben glanced at it for a moment, before he reached out, took it, and accepted the hand up to stand.

“But things change,” he said, “ _ people _ change. And if Rey trusts you, that’s enough for me,” he tightened his hold on Ben’s for a moment, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. “Finn,” he added, supplying his name.

Ben stared at him for a moment too long, and the serious look on Finn’s face cracked and gave way to a smile.   
  


“And this is when you say your name,” he offered, “because frankly, no one is going to take well to calling you Kylo Ren. And like  _ hell _ will anyone address  _ you _ as supreme leader of fuckall.”

Ben chuckled at that, unexpectedly. It caught him by surprise and he pulled his hand from Finn’s to cover his mouth. Finn’s smile grew, and Ben let his hand fall away. “Ben.”

“Well  _ Ben _ , why are you all the way out here in the rain? Weather’s been nothing but cold rain and frankly, there are much better places to be than out in it.”

Ben glanced around him, and then said, “I was thinking.”

“Well, come think  _ inside _ somewhere. I’m shocked Rey didn’t follow you out or try to convince you to stay where it was dry.”

“She’s still sleeping,” Ben said, not thinking much of it. Finn, however, quirked a brow.

“So you didn’t wake her up?”

Ben shook his head. “I thought she may need the rest.”

"No, no. I mean, she didn’t wake up when you got up or, I don’t know,  _ moved _ ?” Ben shook his head, and Finn gave a  _ hmph _ . He reached up, rubbed his chin, before shaking his head. “She doesn’t sleep through anything. Guess she really trusts you that much. Come on, let’s go get dry.”

Finn turned and began the walk through the brush. Ben stood there for a moment, letting those words roll over his mind carefully.

_ She really trusts you that much _ .

It was only when Finn called back to him again that he finally began following.

**

There were still stares as Ben passed Resistance members, but they were subdued compared to the night before. Finn lead him into a large open tent, out of the drizzle, and flopped down into a chair. Ben didn’t pry to try and figure out what he had been doing- in a way now, it wasn’t his business.

Instead he perched very carefully at the edge of a crate, as Finn swiveled back to his computer, typing away at it. He seemed content to just let Ben sit there, and Ben wasn’t going to argue. He didn’t know how to make any sort of conversation with this man, and frankly, he still felt drained. He didn’t have the energy for it.

“Master Finn.”

Finn paused typing and turned, and Ben followed, staring at a  _ ridiculously  _ golden droid. He was vastly humanoid, which, beyond the gaudy color, made him stand out against the other droids that seemed to frequent the camp.

“Yeah C-3PO?” Finn turned back to his screen, but Ben kept his eyes on the droid.

“Master Poe would like to know if you will be accompanying him on his flight this afternoon, or if you plan to, as he put it, relax back at camp and watch from the sidelines.”

Finn huffed, shaking his head. “Ass,” he mumbled, before turning to face the droid again. “I’ll be there, like I  _ already _ said I would. Let him know for me, please.”

“Absolutely.” The droid turned, then paused, getting a good look at Ben. “Oh! Hello there.” He took a jerky step forward. “I am C-3PO.”

“Ben,” Ben said, and the droid tried to nod.

“Ah yes, you match her image greatly! I thought you were our dear general’s son.” He paused for a moment, as if his programming was running. “Good to see you without the mask!”

Ben winced, and Finn leaned forward, actually reaching out and gripping his shoulder. “He’s being sincere. He doesn’t  _ understand _ sarcasm very well. You can usually take him as he is.”

Ben nodded. The droid continued to look at him, before he moved sharply, as if in realization.

“It is not just Master Leia he resembles!” Ben waited to hear about his father, or his  _ grandfather _ , but what the droid next stopped him cold. “I see master Padme.”

Ben frowned. He  _ knew _ who Padme was. Former Queen Amidala of Naboo, former Senator on the now dead Galactic Counsel 

And his grandmother.

He had to admit, he had never looked into her much. Enough to know who she was, but he had always been so  _ preoccupied _ with his grandfather’s legacy- and with his mother having never met Padme anyway, there wasn’t much to hear.

“It is the eyes,” C-3PO said, before he sounded somewhat sad, “She had those very eyes.”

With that, he gave an attempt at a nod, and hurried off, presumably to pass Finn’s answer on to Poe. Ben folded his hands, wondering if he really did have her eyes. And did it even mean anything?

“I always heard she was pretty,” Finn said, “so I guess you’ve got pretty eyes?”

Ben glanced at him, and with a straight face asked, “are you courting me?”

Finn choked, and Ben cracked a small smile. Alright, maybe he  _ could _ make conversation with this one, a bit. Enough to entertain anyway.

Finn pushed his chair back, shaking his head. “I can’t believe  _ you _ just joked. Less than 24 hours with Rey and you’re a different man.”

“I hope I already was.” Finn gave a  _ hmm _ , before he turned and glanced at his computer again.

“Let’s go wake her up. She won’t want to sleep the day away.”

**

Rey rose to consciousness slowly, ascending up from the darkness of sleep and stretching lazily. It felt like the first  _ real _ night’s sleep she’d had her whole life. She smiled to herself, feeling content, before she realized she wasn’t  _ alone _ .

Or, at least she shouldn’t be.

Rey sat up, blinking away the heaviness of sleep and glancing around. The bed next to her was empty, and the tent seemed hallow, lifeless. She threw the blanket off her legs, noticed everything of Ben’s was  _ gone _ , and for a single moment, her heart dropped down into her stomach.

Had she  _ dreamt _ it all? The sand and his eyes had been a lie, she’d never even been on Tatooine, he was still  _ gone _ , dead to the world-

She stumbled out of the bed, ready to bolt for the outside, when the flap to her tent lifted and Finn stepped in, casting her a dazzling smile.

“Good morning,” he started, and Rey was about to race up to him, to grab him and  _ beg _ him to tell her it hadn’t been a dream, even if it was. Lie to her, just for a moment.

But then Ben stepped in next to him, solid and very much  _ real _ , and she felt such a rush of relief it nearly knocked her over. She must have swayed, before FInn was quick as ever on his feet, crossing the space and grasping her arm, steadying her.

“You alright?” he asked, now looking concerned. She nodded, gave the hand on her arm a squeeze, as she watched Ben take one single step towards her.

That was all he got.

She broke away from Finn then, rushed up to him, and pressed her hands flat to his chest, shoving him. Surprised, he stumbled back, and she had half a mind to throw him right out of her tent, if she wasn’t terrified of ever having him out of her sight.

“Fucking stars you  _ scared _ me,” she admitted, glaring up at him.

Shocked, he just gaped at her for a moment, before stammering, “I- I just needed to think.”

And it was a  _ reasonable _ reason, and Rey knew she had no right to demand someone stay within her sight every second of their breathing life, and she  _ knew _ she was strung out now with anxiety and fatigue, but  _ fuck _ if she could make herself see it properly, through the haze. Instead she pressed her hands to his chest again, but instead of shoving him a second time, fisted them in his shirt.

“I thought you were  _ gone _ ,” she said, the anger leaving her voice, making her sound simply  _ scared _ . Something that seemed foreign. “I thought I’d lost my mind and yesterday hadn’t  _ happened _ .”

She felt an arm around her shoulders, and very carefully Finn guided her back. She let him, but refused to pull her eyes away from Ben, who had gone speechless.

“Hey, let me calm her down,” Finn offered, voice gentle now. “Give us a few minutes?”

Ben glanced from Rey to FInn, and then back. He didn’t  _ want _ to leave, he felt like he wanted to pour out a string of apologies that had never once even crossed his lips, wanted to revel in the fact that Rey could be so  _ open _ about missing him-

Instead he went against what  _ he _ wanted, and nodded, turning and taking the few steps out of the tent to wait outside.

Rey watched him go, before she reached up, dragged her hands through her hair. She felt positively out of her skin.

“Take a deep breath.” Finn moved his arm, just to gently grasp her upper arm and turn her, so she was facing him. “Okay?” Rey nodded, inhaled slowly and held it, tried to find her center, to force calm into her veins.

It wasn’t instant, but the tension slowly began to ebb, until she felt in control of herself enough to function. Finn gave her another smile, warm and comforting, and rubbed her upper arms slowly.

“Not used to seeing you so nervous.” He paused, then added, “Can’t say I like it.”

“If the war’s over, we can all be unhinged for a bit.”

“Point.” He let go of her, glancing at the closed flap to her tent. “Did you really think you’d dreamed it all?”

“Yeah.” Rey sighed. “Wouldn't ’t be par from course for something I want to be just a dream, in the end.” Finn winced a little, and Rey gave a bitter chuckle. “Sorry, that was a bit much.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Finn shoved his hands into his pockets. “It was right, and that hurts. Hurts that it’s the case for all of us.” His dark eyes looked sad, and Rey wanted to push, but he shook the look off, forced a smile. “Also interesting to hear you say you  _ want _ something. Someone.”

Rey’s mouth gaped  _ just slightly _ , and she felt a hint of warmth, in her cheeks. “I- I didn’t- Finn  _ wait _ .”

He was grinning though, looking like a proud sibling in catching their sister in admission. And Rey  _ laughed _ at that.

Alright, she couldn’t  _ deny _ it, after all. She wanted Ben alive. She wanted Ben here with her.

She wanted the memory of that one kiss to be old habit.

“Get dressed and come outside,” Finn said, “let your little  _ darklord _ know you’re not going to lose your mind every time he wakes up before you.” He left no room for any sort of argument that Rey might  _ possibly _ not want to spend every night with Ben. “I’ll go keep him company.”

Before Rey could argue, Finn turned and gave her a wave, walking right out of her tent.

**

Ben waited as  _ patiently _ as possible outside Rey’s tent. Which was, truthfully, very far from patiently in anyway.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, ignoring the stares from various Resistance members as they passed by. 

He hadn’t meant to  _ upset _ her, it was just- his head was in a jumble, his mind aching in some foreign way ever since the Force spit him back out into  _ life _ . He was full of emotions and  _ terrified _ of them and what they could cause. He didn’t have an outlet for them- he’d been  _ scared _ of touching the force since he’d come back- that brief moment in the forest had been the first time it had coursed through him since waking up in Tatooine. And he had shut it down after the momentary burst.

He sucked at his tongue, did entertain the idea of simply going back into the tent. Except that was something he might have done  _ before _ , when he had simply thought about how anxious he felt, in the moment.

When he allowed himself a blind eye to others’ emotions.

So instead he waited, achingly long minutes, until FInn let himself out, and Ben wanted to grab him and ask if Rey had calmed down, and was she truly so upset, and what had he  _ done _ -

“She’ll be out in a minute,” Finn said, without elaborating. Ben was about to ask for more, when another voice broke in-

“You mean she outslept us all?”

Ben glanced over his shoulder, saw the pilot standing back a few feet, hip cocked, one hand on it, looking all too aloof and confident at once. And while Ben wanted to find him irritating, he hadn’t forgotten that he had also voiced his acceptance of Ben the night before.

So he kept that emotion tampered down, as well.

“Poe,” Finn said, and then ignoring his question, “Did you really need to have C-3PO ask me about the flight  _ again _ ? How many times have I told you I was going?" He walked past Ben, as Poe started to say something. Ben tuned them out, mostly because at that moment Rey emerged from her tent, finishing tying her hair back.

She glanced at him, and there was a bit of color to her cheeks. It was endearing, and Ben  _ almost _ smiled, but didn’t want her to think him mad. Instead he forced himself to wait as she took the few steps of him.

“I’m sorry.”

The two of them paused, having spoke at the same time. Ben cleared his throat, asking before Rey could comment, “Why would you be sorry?”

“Because I have no right to lose my mind because you weren’t where I last left you? Because it was irrational and I should have better control of myself?” She shook her head, and Ben reached out, dared to brush his fingers gently along her cheek, back towards her tied up hair.

“Losing control is forgivable,” he said, voice low, as if he was trying to keep the conversation strictly between them and the wind. “Maybe it’d be good for you.”

There was a  _ promise _ there, that once would have meant something entirely different… or maybe not. Rey felt her breath almost catch, her belly tightening up in an almost painful but mostly  _ pleasing _ way.

“This is disgusting, can you two take it inside?”

Rey leaned past Ben, saw that both Finn and Poe were watching them now. Finn seemed to be trying to avoid her eyes, but Poe, who had spoken, was staring right at her with a  _ shit eating grin _ .

“Or you could leave,” she said, as nonchalant as she could, leveling a hard stare at him. Poe threw his hands up as if to try and say he wasn’t  _ armed _ , but she knew his snark knew no bounds.

“Afraid I can’t. I need you two to come with me actually, hear something out.” he paused, before adding, a little more seriously, “It’s a request… from Leia.”

**

Rey had followed quickly, any more quips and complaints for her friend crushed beneath the mere  _ idea _ of their late general having wanted anything. Ben followed closely by her, and she could feel him, not just physically, but this sweet presence in the back of her mind that was beginning to bud again, properly. Getting clearer, by the hour.

They maneuvered around various folks getting ready to depart, towards the Millennium Falcon. Ben seemed to recoil slightly at the ship, but he didn’t hesitate to follow the group on board.

“Looks like this message was sent just after Lando left,” Poe said, gesturing towards a frozen holographic messages. It looked as if he had listened to it once, and then set it back at the start for them.

Rey glanced at Ben, then at her friends, and Poe huffed and took the last few steps, beginning the message.

Lando’s voice was warm, his smile infectious within his voice alone. “I know I said my goodbyes last night,” he offered, “but something struck me. Something I remember Leia saying, back years ago.”

They all shared a look, a silence for their lost general- and Ben, for a mother he had never gotten to ask forgiveness of.

“You all know about her father- but how much do you know about her  _ mother _ ?” He allowed a pause, as if he  _ knew _ they would be silent. “Ah, not much I am sure. She had always regretted quietly that her mother’s legacy was lost to that of her father’s. Perhaps we can honor it now.”

Another pause.

“I’m asking on behalf of Leia. Go to Naboo. Perhaps you’ll find something you’re searching for.” Rey swore he could see them somehow, swore those eyes were staring into her. “Rey, answers for who you are. And Ben- some answers as to  _ why _ . It’s a gut feeling, and trust an old man’s gut as you will- but I know your mother, and our beloved Leia, would be thrilled.”

The message cut off without any fanfare, and left the four of them quiet. The moment stretched, before Poe folded his arms and simply asked, “So when will you be ready to leave?”

He was looking at Rey and Ben both, and Rey gaped for a moment. “We’re just going to go?” It wasn’t as if she wasn’t  _ interested _ in the idea- and if Lando thought it would have made Leia happy, she would have done it in a heartbeat, definitely. But they had only just returned…. And they couldn’t just  _ make _ this decision, not without Ben weighing in.

All eyes turned to him, and Rey watched the light seem to shift and dance in his dark eyes, as he thought. Then, after a moment, he turned his stare to Poe. “When can you be ready?”

That didn’t seem to be the answer Poe expected. He hesitated, before trying to play it off and shrugging a shoulder. “Honestly? An hour or two. Give me some time to rearrange my  _ oh so busy _ schedule.”

Ben nodded, then glanced at Rey. “I want to go.”

She didn’t need anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have more written, but I have to edit it a bit- my Chromebook is NOT my friend when it comes to typing. More to come- hopefully soon :)
> 
> Thanks if you made it this far!


	3. Not Strong Enough to Stay Away

Whatever plans Poe had _rearranged_ seemed weak in importance to this. By the time they were aboard the ship and ready to leave, he was acting as if he had planned on visiting Naboo all along. And while it was deinfitely a good move to get a Resistance presence back on the planet to help them rebuild, Rey knew it had slipped his mind entirely.

He was just too scared to admit it.

Hyperspace made the leap painless, which Rey was glad for. Ben seemed distracted, staring off into nothing and focusing as if he could see every particle in the air. She left him to his thoughts, instead focusing on her own.

She didn’t know much about Naboo. She’d tried to research in the brief time they had before their departure, but there wasn't much on base to work with. She felt she was going in blind.

As they cruised through the sky, heading for roughly where the capital, Theed had been, Rey tried to catch glimpses of the planet outside. Despite everything, it didn’t seem to be damaged too much, though she was sure it seemed ghostly compared to what it had once been, from her reading.

They touched down and Poe was the first to weave beyond the seats and head for the hanger door. Rey let him, was more than happy to not impede on the role of general he seemed to so gladly embrace. In a more flamboyant way than Finn did.

By the time they filed off the Falcon, he was speaking quickly but pleasantly with a woman in a flight suit. Her dark hair was twisted up and back in an intricate way that seemed out of place for her dirtied suit, and yet she wore it well.

She glanced past him at the group, before saying something to Poe and hurrying off. He was grinning, and when Rey reached him, she gently punched his arm.

“Please tell me you were not obscene.”

“Me? A complete gentleman, only.” She rolled her eyes, and then Poe’s smile gave way to a more serious look. “They haven’t had a lot of traffic lately, so she was a bit shocked to have us unannounced. Word has to travel before we can be seen.”

“Seen?”

“Didn't ’t you read at all before we left? There’s always a Queen on Naboo.”

**

Poe hadn’t been _wrong_ \- even if Rey learned there were occasional kings, though queens _were_ more common. And the process took quite some time, if Rey was keeping track. Endless staff- guards and advisors and _historians_ asking who they were and why they had came and _who they had come on behalf of_.

It seemed the Sith’s end was still a rumor to Naboo.

Poe seemed _thrilled_ to do the talking, and Rey wasn’t going to argue that. She was content attempting to take in their surroundings, the intricate architecture as they were passed from room to room to room. Occasionally she would be asked to chime in, along with Finn, but they were mostly quiet. Ben said not a word.

They were being led to another room- Rey had lost count- when she started to feel something prickling at the back of her mind. A sort of static restlessness. She glanced at Ben as they walked, thought his shoulders looked too stiff, the crease at his brow too deep.

It took only a moment for her to realize it was his anxiety, subconsciously sent to her through their bond. She wanted to be concerned, but was too overrun with _joy_ that it was that easy to feel.

Would she be able to see him, planets away again? Was that still a possibility?

The doors were shoved open and Rey was prepared for another elder, another set of guards-

Instead there was a young girl, elaborately painted and dressed, sitting atop a throne that was _just_ too large for her. Rey paused, a step before everyone else, and simply stared, reveling in the sight.

The girl stood before anyone addressed her or was addressed, and swept down the few steps as if she could float. Elegant seemed far too slight, and Rey almost felt clumsy for a moment, as she forced herself to take another few steps with the group.

The guards leading them paused and gave a bow of the head, and the girl flashed a little smile at them, before taking a moment to study each of her visitors.

“They tell me you claim the war is over.” She turned her gaze to Poe, as he was at the head. “That you claim to be the leading general of the Resistance, and that General Organa is dead.”

Ben didn’t wince, but Rey felt the pange, inside her head and chest.

“One of the leading generals,” Poe pointed out, “Finn here is a general as well.” He clapped a hand on Finn’s shoulder, who seemed a bit tense as well, staring down at a girl that had to be well younger than them and yet seemed so poised, so…

Commanding.

“Charming.” She glanced away from them, letting her eyes settle on Rey now. “You are not the first to speak of a war ending. And there has not been a First Order visit in some time. Yet, there is no proof.”

Rey held the girl’s stare, mind racing through everything she had gone through, endured and learned in this time. What could she relate that would appease her.

Before words had even a chance to ghost her tongue, Ben took a step closer to the girl.

“I’m the proof.”

The young woman’s stare shifted to Ben, along with the rest of the party. Rey wanted to reach out, to tell him he didn’t need to _do_ this- but Ben was too fast. Too set.

“I was Supreme Leader,” he said, “ _Kylo Ren_.”

The girl hummed. “ _Interesting._ And why does the… _supreme leader_ stand here with outward Resistance members?”

“Because I’ve had my eyes opened.” He cast a quick glance at Rey, one that the young woman did not miss, Rey was sure. “I watched the order fall to the Resistance. I’m proof that…” he paused, as if searching for a word.

And Rey stepped forward, finishing, “That pure hate has no sustainability.” She bowed her head to the girl, thinking mimicking the guards might be best, even if a bit late. “Rey,” she added, “of Jakku.”

“A desert planet. You are a long way from home.” The girl turned then, walked back to her throne and sat down on it. “And Rey of jakku, what is it that you are asking of me, and the people of Naboo?”

“We’re not-” Poe started, and the young woman shot him a stare that was pure, heated daggers.

“I did _not_ ask you,” she said, before turning back to Rey and offering a small smile. “I asked my desert friend.”

Rey hesitated a moment. This wasn’t her jurisdiction- politics was _not_ what she wanted. And yet, single, one-on-one connections were something she was truly enjoying building, and for a moment, it felt as if she and this young queen were the only two in the room.

“We’ve all been hurt. The _galaxy_ needs to rebuild. We… we want to help. To connect us all again.” The sentiment was one the Resistance shared, one Poe had discussed on the flight. What they wanted, outside of her and Ben hoping to find closure of some sort on this foreign planet. But the words, they were hers. “We want to remain here- just a few of us, for a short time. We want your help in creating peace again.”

The woman tapped her fingers, just peeking out from the large sleeves of her gown. No one in the room spoke as she thought, not the guards, not the elders or advisors who had filtered in silently after the group. Everyone waited on one girl’s breath.

And then, she smiled.

“There is something about you,” she mused, inclining her head slightly. “Rey of Jakku. I will give your words my trust. The Resistance is welcome to leave ambassadors here at Naboo, and we would be happy to work with you as best as we can to bring peace back to our shattered galaxy.”

Rey exhaled, a rush of relief running through her. She turned her head, glanced quickly at Poe and Finn, before letting her stare stop on Ben.

He gave her a small smile, just a simple curl of his lips, but it was enough to make her simply _grin_.

**

The group was excused briefly while the queen discussed her decision with her small counsel, and taken outside for some fresh air. Rey was pleased that the sun was so warm on this planet, yet it wasn’t desert like. It seemed beautiful, if a little neglected- but what planet _didn’t_ now?

Poe clapped a hand on her shoulder and drew her out of her thoughts. He was grinning at her. “See, you would be _great_ in politics. People trust you.”

She grimaced, shaking her head. She had no desire to live in that world- she wasn’t even sure what world she _did_ want to live in. She just knew it wasn’t that.

“Our loss. But really, good job. Once they have some ground rules for us, we’ll get everything set up. This is what we need.” He let go of her shoulder, took a step towards Finn, looking as if he had a sudden idea he needed to discuss with the other general.

Rey turned away from them, looking a few paces over to see Ben. Despite the pleasant temperature, he seemed swallowed from the shoulder down under his cloak, as he looked up, lost in something in the sky.

She walked over slowly, pausing close enough that she could ask softly, “What are you looking for?”

He didn’t glance at her, but she could feel something tug inside her, some sort of silent acknowledgement of her presence. She let the silence hold, until Ben finally looked down at her.

“I don’t know. Something here is so… familiar.” He slid his hands out from under his cloak, holding them palm up and slowly closing them, as if he was trying to grasp onto the air. “I can’t explain it. I feel like I've been here.”

“Have you?” Rey asked, “Maybe as a child? I mean, your grandmother, she was from here.”

Ben shook his head. “Not that I remember. It feels fresher than that, and yet it feels like it’s from lifetimes ago.” he sighed, reached up and ran his fingers back through his hair, pushing it from his face. “I sound crazy.”

“Nothing sounds crazy anymore.” Rey offered up a smile, and Ben gave her a weak, but honest, one back. She wanted to push a little more, but she heard someone calling to them, and let the matter lie instead.

**

Ben stood alone later in the room that had suddenly become his. The capital building, and residency for the current queen at the time of her reign, housed a number of rooms for visiting dignities and such. And with the way the political climate was and had been, they had been laying dormant and unused for long enough.

He crossed the room and pushed the thin curtain covering the window aside slightly. He had a view of the city below, lit and quite obviously alive, but still shell like. The whole galaxy was like this, only a ghost, a fragment, of what it had been.

He fisted his other hand, digging his nails into his palm. It never had to _be_ like this. It could have stopped, maybe years sooner....

Yet he’d perpetuated it. And for _what_ ? For power? For a feeling of security? For some sick seeded ideal that he was repressed and the only people that saw him, that _believed_ in him, where the cruel ones?

Ben let the curtain fall and moved to the bed, sitting on the corner. He wasn’t sure how Rey could have believed in him, for so long. How she saw through everything, found a boy under a helmet too big that was just scared and yet well beyond being able to use that as an excuse.

He didn’t deserve her, the kindness she had given him. He was so sure he never would- and yet, he couldn’t tear himself away. Force Bond be damned, she was magnetic in a way he had never felt before, and seemed to dominate his every waking and dreaming thought.

He fell back, stared up at the ceiling. He was afraid to trust this second chance, if he was honest with himself. Worried every second he would fade back away- if not back into the Force, than into nothing at all. Worried that the people would stop trusting Rey and not give him this chance he didn’t even deserve.

But _fuck_ , he wanted to try for it. For her. For her trust and attention and _affection_. To maybe fix a little of what he had so easily and thoroughly destroyed. To redeem himself in the dead eyes of his parents, of Rey-

Of himself.

There was a knock at his door, and Ben sat up. “It’s unlocked,” he called, not sure if he was expecting Rey, or one of her cohorts, or maybe a guard or staff member.

Instead, the door opened, and the young queen from earlier seemed to utterly fill the space. Ben gawked for a moment before hurrying to his feet, feeling the first thing he could do right was give this woman a bit of respect- which was not his first reaction, ever.

She eyed him for a moment, before walking in and allowing the door to shut behind her. No one followed her, no one hovered right beyond the door.

"You’re alone,” he pointed out, and she gave a single, low laugh.

"And you are surprised. Should I not be? Are you such a threat now, _Kylo Ren_?” Ben winced at the name, and she simply nodded. “You cannot handle hearing even your old name- you are no threat to me. If I felt you were, you would not be here.”

“Fair.” He glanced around the room, but she simply ignored him, moving to the window he had been glancing out before, and taking up his previous posture. She glanced down at her city.

“I know why the Resistance is here,” she said, without looking. “I understand their drive to bring the galaxy back to its former glory. I commend it, even. And yet you, I do not understand.” She shot him a single glance. “You are with them, yet you are not here for their cause.”

“No.” Ben didn’t see a point in lying. “No I… I’m here for personal reasons.”

The queen gave a _hmm_ , but didn’t seem shocked. She looked back down at her city. “We all have personal desires that drive our actions- even if those actions seem selfless. No one is that good. Tell me about your selfishness.”

Ben hesitated. He didn’t know if he truly should- if this woman would even believe his tie to this planet. And yet… he didn’t want to lie anymore.

“A friend of my late mother said she would have been pleased if I came to Naboo.”

“Late?”

“Both my parents are dead.”

_And I directly murdered one of them._

The queen nodded. “My condolences. I understand the loss. But what does this planet have that your mother would have loved?”

Ben chewed at his cheek briefly, before offering, “My grandmother is from here. My mother never knew her, but I assume she would have liked to _feel_ as if she had, if she stood where her own mother might have once stood.”

The queen smiled then. She left the window and walked over to him, placing a hand gently on his arm. She was quiet shorter than him, and she seemed so young, in that moment.

“FInd her footprints,” she offered, “and fill them.”

She gave his arm a squeeze, and then turned, departing just as suddenly as she had arrived. No goodbyes, no more questions, just simply breezing out as if she had somehow gained all the knowledge on who Ben was that she would ever need.

He didn’t know how to take that.

**

Rey glanced around her own room, thinking it was too… nice. She had only just begun to get used to Resistance tents, and suddenly _this_? What would she even do with it?

Poe and Finn were both smirking at her, this tell-tale look that meant they were far too bemused by her. She glared at them both, and Finn at least had the mind to glance away. Poe’s smirk simply turned into a full grin.

“What?”

“You look lost. It’s just cute.”

She made a face at him, before walking away to toss open her curtains and look outside. She didn’t have a view of the city, which could be seen if she was housed across the hall, but of the gorgeous courtyard outside, where they had stood after first meeting the queen.

“I can’t believe you’re _leaving me_ ,” she said, looking back at them. Poe shrugged a shoulder, getting a _bit_ serious. But only a bit.

“You wanted to be here anyway, and honestly, we need to keep working, keep spreading the hope. We can’t all just sit tight here. And it doesn’t have to be forever. We’ll work out ambassadors for whatever planets will have us. But, come on, do it for just a _little_ while.”

“I am not good at politics!” Rey threw her arms out. “What happens when I say the wrong thing to the wrong person?”

“You show them your lightsaber and they stop questioning you?” Finn asked, and Rey wanted to hurl it at him. He held his hands up in mock defense of her scowl. “You’ll be fine. You’ve been fine for literally _everything else_ you have suddenly done. You can do this.”

“And you’re not completely alone,” Poe pointed out. Rey let her arms drop, looking at him almost hopefully.

“You have that much trust in Ben?” She wanted a _yes_ , she wanted to know others beyond herself would be willing to give him a chance to atone for what he had done.

“No.” Rey’s face fell. “But I trust _you_ . And you trust him. So… I'm alright turning my back.” Poe glanced at Finn, who nodded. “And I think I can speak for _everyone_ when I say, we hope you’re right about him.”

Rey nodded. It was all she could ask for, truly. And she _believed_ she was right about him, so she held onto the thought that their trust would be rewarded.

“We’re going to get back to the ship,” Poe said, “come down in a few and say goodbye.” He paused, before adding, “get the great and wonderful _darklord_ as well. Can’t leave him out.”

Rey huffed, but couldn’t fight off the little laugh. The teasing was still a sign that Poe was getting _comfortable_.

He and Finn left, and she headed in the opposite direction, along the corridors towards Ben’s room. They didn’t share a wall or anything, but they weren’t _that_ far apart, truly.

Rey rounded the single corner turn, and saw the Queen heading down the hallway, directly towards her. She paused, and the girl smiled, walking up to Rey and giving her a nod.

“I hope you will settle in well as the night continues.”

“I...I will. Thank you… your…”

The girl held a hand up, shaking her head. “No formalities from you please, Rey of Jakku. You can call me Kalin. Kal. I hear so many formalities sometimes I forget my own name.” Rey smiled, a little nervous but still honest, and couldn’t help but think this girl had so many less years than her. “Are you in a rush?”

  
“Poe and Finn- my comrades- are planning to fly back to our base. I wanted to get Ben so we could wish them well.” Kalin nodded.

“He is still in his room. I hope the two of you will join me later. Company is a luxury.” She gave Rey a nod and continued on. Rey watched her go, before hurrying the last few paces to Ben’s door and knocking.

He opened it, and seemed shocked to see her, as if he had expected someone else. She quirked a brow at his surprise, before asking, “expecting someone?”

“No.”

“Come with me. Poe and Finn are leaving.” He nodded and stepped out, shutting the door behind him and following almost at her side. As they walked, Rey asked, “I saw the Queen. Was she with you?”

“She stopped by.” Rey hummed, and Ben glanced at her, slowing his pace. She followed suit, so as to not leave him behind. “Is that jealousy in your eyes?”

Rey paused completely and laughed. Ben stopped as well, turned to face her and smiled at the sound. She shook her head, reaching out and pressing her hand to his chest, intending to shove him playfully-

But instead, let her hand curl in the fabric, and held on. It felt right, and he seemed frozen suddenly in the quick switch of her body language. She leaned in, keeping a small smile.

“No,” she said, realizing she truly wasn’t. They had a lot to discuss, she knew. But she had no real claim on Ben, couldn’t say exactly what he was in that moment.

Beyond that, though, she just didn’t feel he _looked_ at anyone, the way he was looking at her, in that moment.

She released her hold on him, brushing past him. “Come on, we can’t keep them waiting.”

**

They were invited, that evening, to eat with the Queen. Which to Rey felt totally terrifying, and to Ben simply felt…

Well, he truly wasn’t sure.

They sat at a circular table, which he hadn’t expected. There was always a head, in the First Order. This made the Queen seem as if she was happy to fall into their fold, and be an equal.

Rey looked at the food with wide eyes, and Ben smiled despite the pang he felt in his chest, for everything she had gone through. Just to be hidden from a monster of a deadman.

The talk was light, until the very end, when the food was cleared away, and they were enjoying what seemed to be some sort of tart. He couldn’t identify whatever berries were in it- but then again, this planet was completely foreign to him.

“You’re so young,” Rey said, suddenly, watching as the queen put the smallest of bites into her mouth. Her hand seemed small around the fork, and while Ben had _thought_ it, he had kept that thought to himself. Rey, ever the braver, had just let it spill out.

Of course, she bit her lip after, realizing perhaps it had been inappropriate. But before she could apologize, the Queen- Kalin, of the Parnelli house, Ben had learned- lifted her hand to silence her.

“I am almost sixteen years on this planet,” she said, and added, “and over a year into my service. I am fairly old, as queens go. But there aren’t many left to choose from.” Ben watched Rey’s brow furrow. He had a vague idea of the political structure of this planet, but it seemed she did not.

“Choose from?” Rey asked. Kalin nodded.

“Yes. Kings and Queens are elected by our people, every four years. There was a limit on how long we could reign, but that ended some years back. However, out of respect for our former leaders, we do not overstay eight years as was custom.”

“But you’re still so young.”

Kalin popped a bit of the tart into her mouth, took a moment to enjoy it. “It’s tradition, we are always young. That doesn’t mean we are not worthy or prepared.”

Rey nodded, didn’t say anymore, and Kalin stood then. She gestured for Ben and Rey to remain sitting.

“I have many things to attend to in the morning, but thank you both for your company tonight. It’s not often I have that beyond the counsel these days.” She paused for a moment. “I will see the both of you sometime tomorrow. Please, feel free to walk the grounds to your heart’s content. We have wonderful archives downstairs as well, if you find you cannot sleep.”

Rey thanked her, and Ben added his thanks softer. She bid them pleasant sleep and dreams, and then seemed to float out of the room within her large, grandiose garments.

Leaving the two of them alone.

They sat in silence for a moment, before Rey looked at Ben and simply asked, “Could you imagine running a planet at sixteen?”

“I wanted to run the _galaxy_ at that age,” he reminded her, and Rey shrugged.

“It just seems like so much.”

“It’s not uncommon.” Rey was quiet, before she stood up.

“Are you up for a walk?”

Ben wanted to say yes- but the Queen had mentioned and archive, and he was itching within his bones to see it.

“Maybe in the morning,” he offered. He watched her face fall, and stood up, walking around the table to pause close to her. He reached up, brushed his thumb along her cheek as he gently cupped her face in one hand. He wanted to reassure her it wasn’t her company he was avoiding- but he simply had something pulling at him, he had too many questions unanswered.

“Morning, then,” she whispered, as his thumb caressed her cheek again. He swore her eyelids fluttered, and he wanted to kiss her then. To feel that magnetic electricity he had, when she had kissed him moments before the Force took him.

But he was shaking in his marrow over it, as if he couldn’t _bring_ himself to dare. As if she was just too sacred.

Instead, at his hesitation, Rey reached up, gently gripped his wrist in one hand. His head tipped, just slightly, and she stood on her toes, brushing her lips to his forehead in the barest of kisses. She was gone before he could do much of anything, pulling just out of his touch.

“Get some sleep,” she said, smiling softly, before turning and walking quickly from the room. Ben watched her go, before he slumped down into her chair, feeling weak in a completely childish way.

**

Rey walked as calmly as she could, through the halls. But by the time she reached the stairs that led up to the guest suites, she was running, taking them two at a time. She ran until she was in her room, door shut, and buried her face in her hands.

It wasn’t the action itself that had caused her face to flush, but the overwhelming desire to keep going, to let her hands wonder, into his hair, over his shoulders. To let her lips find the curves of his cheek bones, his jawline, the pulse throbbing within his neck.

She shook her head, trying to take a deep breath. She told herself, repeatedly, to not run back down the stairs and find him, to kiss him breathless and ask if whatever he was planning on doing for the night, she could be a part of.

But he needed space and she knew it, understood it. She needed it too, when she had been trying to train, after Luke. Hell, she was still just as confused, still needed to sort out her endless thoughts on if she _was_ a Jedi, if that could ever be something she could attain.

She pushed off her door, walked towards her bed and climbed up onto it, settling in with her legs folded. She closed her eyes, and tried to find her core, giving herself over to a few moments of meditation to calm her heart rate, before she tried to sleep.

**

Ben found the archives down below the main capital building. The halls had a distinct coldness to them, but he found the large room itself quite warm. It appeared like a too small, overstuffed library, and for a moment he simply stared, wondering where to even _begin_.

He walked around the piles of books, of drives with recordings, looking at dates, names, trying to piece together a timeline. He didn’t know the years his grandmother had reigned, but he knew she was active on the senate until shortly before her death. Granted, that timeframe was muddy at best to him, and he didn’t have it narrowed down to an exact year.

It took some time- a lot of lifting up dusty books and manuscripts, flipping through them, and then returning them to their resting place, before he found a concise log of political figures throughout out the years.

And he only found it because it had the least dust on it.

He pulled out the heavy book, heading to the round table off to the side of the room and setting it down. He settled into the seat, then cracked it open, the pages heavy and dry beneath his fingertips. The book was hand written, and not complete. He noticed a solid chunk was empty, and perhaps it was a more recent endeavor, to condense the lineage so it was easy to access?

The extra space meant _someone_ was planning on continuing to update it.

He found Queen Kalin, the latest entry, with her date of birth, and the start date of her first reign. Below her was listed both her past and present counsel. He noticed a few had small dates, and wondered if she had culled them herself, or if they had chosen to leave.

Or if they had died.

He flipped back, page after page, scanning quickly, until he finally saw her name, as the entries began to get longer, and then suddenly list senators as well, from when the galactic Counsel had still been _alive_.

_Padmé Naberrie_.

He scanned down quickly, took mental note of dates. Her counsel had a few changes early on, but then it seemed her advisors and such had stuck until the end of her second term.

There was no summary, no notes about her at all. He pushed the book forward, got back up, and returned to the shelves with purpose, the date fresh in his mind.

**

Rey woke slowly, stretched out in the bed. She sighed, sat up and brushed her tousled hair back. Carefully, she climbed out of bed, pushed back the curtain to her room and saw it was still dark outside. There was just a hint of light along the horizon.

She redressed, tied a bit of her hair back, and thought perhaps she would go outside. Meditate in the fresh air. She wasn’t sure how much of this building was _alive_ yet.

She stepped outside her room, then paused, wondering if perhaps Ben was awake. She tried to search the bond, and swore she could feel his consciousness. She turned instead towards his room, rounded the hallway, and knocked very gently.

There was no answer, and she knocked again, this time a bit harder. Maybe he wasn’t awake after all. Yet it felt like his thoughts were moving, a blurred linear that she couldn’t truly follow, but not sporadic enough to be sleep.

She turned away, headed down to the main level and found there was indeed staff up. Not just guards, but she was fairly sure she recognized one of the historians from their landing, who had questioned them.

“Excuse me,” she said, walking up to the woman. “I’m trying to find my,” Rey paused, wondering what exactly to call Ben. “Partner,” she settled on, “and I’m not sure where he could be exactly if he isn’t in his room.”

“Endless answers to that,” the older woman said, tucking her hands into her large sleeves. “Outside for fresh air. We have a lovely gallery of portraits of notable royalty and political figures. Or if he’s feeling like a bit of self punishment, there’s the archives.”

Rey didn’t hesitate. “How do I get to the archives?”

**

Rey had first wondered why the woman had said _self punishment_ , but the base level of the capital building was cold. She had goosebumps by the time she found the archives doorway, and was relieved when she slipped inside that the temperature rose.

The room was cluttered, and the sudden confusion of it was definitely a source of punishment. She walked quietly around a large shelf, and saw across the room a large, round table.

And Ben, with his back to her, quite obviously engrossed in a book.

Her footsteps were so light they were silent, as she crossed the room. He didn’t move or acknowledge her, but she figured he knew she was there.

She leaned into his space, at the same time asking, “what have you got?” In a flash his chair was back and he was up, and Rey felt herself shoved back, into the stacks and against a shelf. The books dug into her shoulders and back, and by instinct she twisted, pulling from his grasp. In the same breath she had shoved him back a few steps, and he fell back into his chair, staring up at her as recognition caught his features.

And then regret.

“Rey… I’m… sorry.” He reached up, covered his mouth, rubbing his jaw as if he didn’t know what to even say. “I didn’t hear you,” he admitted.

She quirked a brow. “How?” He was too _good_ to not hear her.

He turned, gesturing towards the table. It was littered with open books. There were a few closed and piled on the floor next to it. “I was distracted.” He turned back to her, and she noticed the circles forming under his eyes.

Had he been up all night?

She walked closer, leaned over him and looked at the book he had open. It was transcripts from the Galactic Counsel. There was a year, but it didn’t mean much of anything to her.

“Did you sleep at all?” She looked at him, and he shook his head. She sighed, and hoisted herself up onto the table, sitting on the edge and leaning her arms onto his knees, keeping her eyes on his. “You’re insane.”

She said it so seriously he couldn’t help but smile.

“So now you see what everyone else sees?”

She shoved her foot out, prying at his thigh with it. “Not funny,” she said, “and anyone who thinks that, we’ll prove wrong.”

He sighed, and this wasn’t the conversation she wanted to have right now. She was sure they’d have it, many times.

“So really, what is all this?”

Ben glanced around the table briefly. “There’s a ledger on economics broken down into ten year periods. Transcripts from the galactic Counsel. Rosters of various visiting dignitaries from specific reigns…”

Rey frowned. That… didn’t seem like anything Ben would be that interested in. She knew he was hoping to discover something about his grandmother, but she wasn’t sure _what_ \- or if he even knew.

“Why?”

He shrugged a shoulder, reaching up to brush his hand along her calf. She still had her foot, now resting, on his thigh. “I don’t know anything,” he admitted, fingertips gliding along her bare skin, “about her. About what she _did_. Maybe if I understand this planet, as a whole, I’ll understand how she impacted it.”

Rey might have furrowed her brow, but she was distracted by the way his fingertips felt. Always a bit rougher than she would expect, but then again, she knew he would get down and dirty if he needed to, with or without his lightsaber.

The idea made her shiver.

Ben must have felt it, because he began to pull his hand back. At the last second he reached up, gave her knee an affectionate squeeze, before he shoved his chair back, dislodging her foot from his thigh and standing up.

Rey watched him disappear back into the books, and hopped off the table, following.

“What will any of that teach you about her?” she asked, watching his hand skim over covers as he read them. “Shouldn’t we go out there and see if anyone knows her? There's ’s got to be elders still alive who knew her.”

Ben paused then, turning to look at her. “Rey, do you know who my grandmother was?”

She shrugged a shoulder. “No? Her name was Padmé, right?”

Ben stared at her, and the silence stretched almost too long, before he finally said, “She was Padmé Naberrie, former Senator on the Galactic Counsel, and former Queen Amidala.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who came back for more! :)


	4. I've Wasted Half My Life (But I Found it All in You)

Rey paced outside, under the sun. Trying to process this new information.

Not only was Ben the grandson of one of the strongest and most feared darkside leaders, Darth Vader. Not only was he the son of Leia Organa, famed general and thinker. Not  _ only _ was he the son of Han Solo, endless explorer, or nephew of Luke Skywalker, the last official Jedi-

He was grandson to a fucking  _ Queen _ .

“Stars above!” Rey yelled, raking her hands back through her hair. How did one single person get a bloodline that  _ rich _ ? She didn’t understand at all.

But what bothered her the most was that she was acting like it  _ mattered _ . She had never cared much, before Ben. She’d wanted to know her own family, sure- but just to have that connection, to know she hadn’t been unwanted. But looking at Ben, she couldn’t help but see those connections, see a worth tied to him that was terrifying.

It made her wonder, if she was even  _ worth _ him.

She made a fist, growling to herself and feeling  _ rage _ . It came so suddenly and swiftly she let it coarse through her for a moment, the Force crackling in her veins and lifting all the small rocks that were buried within the grass. They shot up into the sky, then rained down around her- tiny, solid shrapnel that avoided her as if she had a shield.

Slowly, she unclenched her hands, took a grounding breath, tried to bring herself back to her center. She couldn’t let herself get  _ mad _ like that. She needed to learn to keep  _ all _ her emotions in check.

And yet, when she thought about Ben, she didn’t want to cage a single feeling.

She sighed, shoulders slumping. She needed to clear her mind. She needed air, movement. Anything to just zone into, so she could calm down.

She took a deep breath, and sprinted off, with no destination in mind.

**

Ben slept for an hour, maybe two. He tossed in his sleep, felt restless and agitated, but couldn’t grasp a reason. It was only when he neared consciousness he swore he felt gentle fingers sweeping back his hair, soothing him, almost like a child.

He woke alone to a room that should have felt completely lifeless. And yet, it was as if something remained, something crackling at the corners of his vision, in the air drifting.

He sat up, rubbed at his eyes. The room was dim with the curtain drawn, but he could still tell it was light outside. The sleep had helped a bit, but he was exhausted still. Drained, feeling like he was trying to slowly reclaim lost energy.

He stretched, rolling his shoulders, allowing himself time to truly come back to himself. It was nice- it wasn’t something he had done, in a long time. Even with the Order, he couldn’t trust himself to sleep long.

He stood up, putting on the various articles of clothing he had removed. He left his room and walked downstairs, assuming Rey would not be closed up in her room, though he wasn’t sure where she might be. He thought about trying to open the bond fully, but he also thought that may be… invasive.

And he was trying to be better. Truly.

He paused on the main floor, noticing a mass of people exiting from the general area the throne room had been. He watched, not wanting to really be noticed, until the line was ended with Kalin herself. Her makeup and clothes were just as grandiose as the day before, and yet somehow she seemed so utterly composed and serious.

She bid farewell to all the visitors, before glancing his way, and giving him a small smile. He lifted one hand and gave a small wave, and after whispering to another person, she walked over.

“You look exhausted,” she said, without even a real greeting. Ben snorted a laugh.

“And hello to you too.”

“It is very true. Where is Rey?” She glanced around expectantly.

“I don’t know. I was hoping to find her.” Kalin nodded.

“Let her find us. Come walk with me.” She motioned with one delicate hand, and Ben walked half a step behind her, to her side. The hallways were slowly emptying, and though eyes followed the Queen, no one stopped her or questioned her destination. “Are you not sleeping?”

“I was in your archives all night,” Ben admitted. He didn’t see a point in lying to her- and he wanted to steer  _ away _ from that habit, as it was.

She hummed. “It is easy to get lost in the past. Captivating, dreams of things we barely remember.” She glanced up at him. “Did you find anything?”

Ben did hesitate this time, as they rounded a corner. He wasn’t sure if they had a destination or were simply strolling for the joy of it, but the movement itself was fading to the conversation. “Yes,” he finally admitted, and she gave a nod, the intricate ties of her hair bobbing.

“About your grandmother?”

“Yes.”

The queen gave a second nod, and then paused. Ben stilled as well, and she turned to face him fully.

“You know her name then?” Ben nodded, once, very slowly. “Tell me.”

Ben wasn’t sure he  _ wanted _ to. He knew, vaguely, that his grandmother had been loved, but his research was showing that she was  _ adored _ , that she had done so much, and he felt he had barely scratched the surface-

Who would have any right to believe him?

“It’s not important,” he said, and she quickly held up a hand, cutting him off.

“A person’s name is who they are, and who they present themselves to be. Her name.”

“I don’t know you will believe me.” Kalin quirked a thin brow, and Ben sighed. He didn’t want to play this game. And he wanted to be as open as possible. “Padmé Naberrie.”

Kalin stared at him for a moment, her breath escaping her. Despite the makeup, he swore he saw a bit of color leave her cheeks. He waited for her to call him a liar, to damn him, to tell him to leave her sight.

Instead, she only said in a quick breath, “follow me,” and began walking at a quick pace. He hurried after her, through hallways, until they entered a large, open room. The walls were lined with paintings, something Ben didn’t see much of at all. It seemed the art still had a foothold on Naboo.

Kalin moved with a purpose, towards the back of the room, to an image that was larger than most. A young woman in similar makeup and garments was there, looking down at them with brown eyes that seemed to bore into the soul. While she seemed serious, her face was warm, still welcoming.

Beneath the image, on a pure gold plaque, was the name,  _ Queen Amidala _ , followed by the eight year span of her reign.

Kalin turned, standing partially in front of the image, and stared at Ben. “The eyes,” she said, “your eyes are her eyes.”

This wasn’t the first time Ben had heard that.

“So you believe me?”

“I see no reason for you to lie. So, yes.” Kalin nodded, giving a long pause. “Your grandmother is what we all strive to be, when we rule. She is an ideal among us all, to this day.”

Ben didn’t know what to say. Instead of speaking, he simply looked up at the image. In her official makeup and garb, it was difficult to see any similarities- yet, he was so sure his mother had always held herself in that same way.

He missed her. He missed her terribly and he was  _ sorry _ he couldn’t even give her a proper apology.

Kalin gave a small breath, barely a sigh, and then reached out, placed her hand on Ben’s arm gently. “Your thoughts are racing.”

She was too good at reading people. But, he supposed she had to be.

“There’s just so much… she reminds me of my mother.” He took a slow breath, felt an ache in the very pit of him. He was  _ awful _ , for everything he had done to Leia. He wasn’t sure how she had ever forgiven him, so many times over.

“She reminds us all of something, someone. She was great- she drove many of us to be great as well.” She looked back at the image, then gave his arm a squeeze. “I must go, I planned to go down into the capital to properly see my people. It does no one good, to be kept isolated. But please, stay here if you wish. Know you can always come and search for wisdom under her eyes.”

Another squeeze, and she was gone, quick and silent except for the rustling of her clothing. Ben didn’t turn, didn’t tell her goodbye. He just kept looking up at this woman and wondering why that stare was so familiar.

**

Rey returned dusty and sweat slick, but feeling better. The run had taken her through parts of the capital, and along barren plains that had been more than freeing. She felt re-centered now.

Though, as she stepped inside, she definitely felt she needed a bath. On Jakku, it wouldn’t have mattered. Chasing down the end of the world in fighters with folks in much the same state, it didn’t matter.

Here, everyone was so put together, she was instantly conscious of her disheveled state. Still, most weren’t paying her much mind, so while she wanted to get cleaned up, she was more set on finding Ben.

She walked through the halls, peeking into open rooms. She had thought to go straight to the archives, but figured she should give as much of the massive main floor a look as she could, just in case.

It took some minutes- easily fifteen- before she found the open portrait room, and saw him, at the very end of the room. He was gazing up at a large portrait, larger than the others, and seemed almost entirely unmoving.

She walked in cautiously, afraid of startling him as she had in the archives. When she was a few steps back, she paused, reading the small plaque on the wall, before glancing up at the portrait.

Though it was an official work, with all her makeup and grand clothing, Rey still liked what she saw. Padmé’s face was knowing, calm, kind and warm despite still being serious. Rey liked the settle of her mouth, the way she held her head- the eyes that she recognized from Ben.

“She’s beautiful.” She said it softly, almost reverently. Ben didn’t glance back, didn’t startle, and Rey wondered if he had known she was there, or if he had reached such a calm state in the simple presence of this woman’s image that the surprise hadn’t mattered.

“She looks like my mother.” Ben spoke just as softly, and there was a tremor to his voice Rey wasn’t used to. She took the last few steps to his side and glanced up at him. His eyes looked sad, sadder than she was used to seeing.

And she felt it then, the pange in her belly, the devastation that was coursing through him. The regret.

“Ben…”

“I shouldn’t be here,” he said, turning away from the image, but putting himself directly in Rey’s line of sight. “I shouldn’t have come. I don’t belong in the presence of even her  _ image _ .”

“You do though,” Rey said, “she’s your grandmother, your blood. Lando said it would have made Leia so happy that you were here.”

“Would it? How could my mother want me even near the homeworld of her own lost mother? The son who tried to destroy the  _ galaxy _ , who killed his own father, and led to her death as well? I don’t deserve any forgiveness she ever gave me.”

“Ben-”

“I should have  _ stayed dead _ .”

“Ben!” Rey yelled it, the sound breaking Ben from his thoughts and forcing him into silence. Rey leveled her stare at him, but reached out, took his hands into hers. “ _ Ben _ ,” she tried again, softer now that she had his focus. “Leia adored you. Everything you did- she forgave. She just wanted you to come back home.” Rey squeezed. “The Leia I knew was determined and fierce, but endlessly kind. She believed you would come back to her, in the end. She  _ knew _ it wasn’t in vein, to give herself to the Force.” Rey rubbed his knuckles slowly, felt him gripping her own hands tightly. “And if you had stayed dead…”

Rey trailed off, swallowed, felt herself almost shaking.

“ _ I _ would have lost my mind.”

Ben’s eyes softened, the sadness still there, but this adoration in their dark depths that had Rey moving closer, into his space. She leaned up, onto her toes, and ever so gently, let her mouth press to his. It didn’t have the burst of energy their first kiss had had; it was reserved, slow, and gentle.

But Ben was squeezing her hands, mirroring the delicate movements of her lips. And then Rey pulled back, just enough so that her breath ghosted against Ben’s mouth.

“You’re where you were meant to be.”

Ben pulled his hands from hers then, wrapped his arms around her and swept her up against his chest. Rey didn’t fight it, gave the smallest gasp of surprise, before her breath was lost in his, his mouth back against hers. She melted into it, reached her hands up and fisted them in his shirt, holding tight as she inclined her head. He kissed her like he was seeing her for the first time, despite having been in her presence for days.

Rey felt his hands grip her tightly, and she shivered. She nipped at his lower lip, and the groan he gave had her squirming. The world stopped around them entirely, and she was drowning in everything she had wanted, since that first kiss.

When Ben finally pulled back- for it had to be him, she would have kissed him until the air in her body was nothing but dust- he looked at her with dark eyes, hungry and yet so open to her. She wanted to devour him, then and forever.

They held the stare for a long moment, before the world began to creep back in around them. The sounds of the capital building, outside the room. Footsteps, voices, people that did exist outside the small world that had suddenly created.

Ben glanced away first, and the color on his cheeks was so vibrant, you would think he had never been this close to someone he was so obviously attracted to.

Rey could only smile. She laughed softly, and he frowned. “What?”

“You’re  _ blushing _ .” She leaned back in, kissed his warm cheek, and he tried to squirm away, yet refused to let go of her. She kept laughing, and it became infectious, until Ben was chuckling too, finally allowing her to pepper kisses along his cheek, down to his jaw.

She paused there, forced herself to instead snuggle into his neck, sighing. “I’m so happy you’re back. Just give yourself the chance we’re all willing to give you.”

Ben held her, even though Rey was so sure  _ he _ was the one being cradled in her presence. Rey wanted to stay like that, but after a few moments pulled back, trying to carefully untangle herself from him.

“I should go clean up,” she said, realizing that she was still dusty,  _ sweaty _ . But Ben held tight, pulling her back in, looking  _ daring _ for a moment as he tipped his head, pressed a soft kiss to her throat. Rey made a shocked, but pleased, noise, felt his teeth gently nip at her warm skin.

“I don’t care.”

She reached up, grasped his arms and squeezed, holding on as he kissed just below her ear. She wanted to encourage him, to melt again, to get lost in this and wherever ever the kisses went-

But they would only be left alone for  _ so long _ , she was sure.

So she pushed gently, and he stopped, straightened up. “Someone is going to walk in,” she said, “and while I’m more than happy to let anyone witness you melt,” she paused, and Ben  _ shivered _ for her. “I have a feeling word would get back, and we’d be hearing from the Resistance that we’re not giving them a great… image.”

Ben exhaled, but nodded. Rey reached up, gently touched his cheek affectionately.

“I’m going to go clean up. Where can I find you after?”

Ben forced himself to think beyond Rey’s lips, the hypnotizing hold of her eyes, and then finally said, “the Archives.”

**

Rey cleaned up quickly, and they spent the entire day in the Archives. They even ate dinner there, faces pressed into books and barely registering that they were eating at all.

Rey’s eyes ached as the night wore on. She put down one of the many books she had been skimming through and looked across the table. Ben was staring down at a book on the tabletop intently, seeming lost in a whole different world.

She stifled a yawn, pushing back her chair and stretching. She was fairly sure if she read anymore that night, her eyes would combust and fade into nothing but sand. She stood up, walking around the table, and leaning down onto Ben’s shoulders, peering at the pages he was looking at.

“What is this?” she asked, and Ben flipped the page.

“A history of the capital’s architecture and layout.” Rey frowned.

“What does this have to do with your grandmother?”

“Maybe nothing,” he admitted, “but what if she did something? I don’t want to miss it.” Rey yawned properly this time, dropped her face down against the back of his head and sighed into his hair. Ben paused his reading, found himself smiling, and reached up, touched one of her arms as it was crossed over his shoulders. “Go to bed.”

“If I leave you, you’ll be up all night again.” She lifted her head, blinking back the sleepiness. “Close the book and get some sleep. I don’t know that a lot of what we’ve read is going to get us closer to… understanding her.”

Ben looked back at the book and flipped the page. “In an hour or two.”

Rey huffed and straightened up. She tugged his chair back, before sliding between him and the table, blocking his view of the book.

“ _ Now _ .” Ben quirked a brow, and Rey folded her arms, feet planted firmly. “That book isn’t going to show you the inner workings of a woman’s soul. It’s going to  _ bore you _ .”

“But-”

“ _ Right. Now. _ ” Ben stared up at her, before he started chuckling. He couldn’t exactly fight her, he was exhausted, having slept those maybe two hours that late morning, and that was it. Besides, if either of them was the definition of stubborn, it was  _ Rey _ .

“Alright. Alright.” He reached out, dared to wrap his arms around her waist, tugging her away from the table and a bit closer. He wanted to press his face against her belly, to drink her in and possibly just lose himself to sleep there-

Instead he just held her. There was still a bit of hesitation, even though she had kissed  _ him _ earlier, and he had answered in kind. He didn’t want to rush and lose her. Whatever pace she set, he would follow.

Besides, most of him still couldn’t believe she saw  _ anything _ in him.

She reached down, brushed his hair back. “I’m not sure I can really take your word for it,” she mused, as he closed his eyes, losing himself in the comfort of her soft touches. “What’s to keep you from sneaking right back out of your room once I’m in mine?”

Ben didn’t respond- honestly, it has crossed his mind. For a moment. He cracked his eyes open, and the look Rey was giving him confirmed that she knew he had considered it.

He knew their bond didn’t allow her to read his mind, but  _ damn _ , sometimes it seemed like she could.

“Come to bed with me.” She said it softly, still carding her fingers through his hair, toying with it. His eyes snapped fully open now. He stared up at her, but she just had a soft, affectionate smile. “That way I can keep an eye on you. I won’t sleep through you leaving twice.”

Ben couldn’t decline the invitation, and frankly, he didn’t want to.

They left the archives and headed for the rather lengthy walk up to Rey’s room. The capital building slept at this hour, which was a relief- neither were keen on having to stop to talk to much of anyone. Rey was tired, and Ben, while exhausted, was also suddenly wired.

Rey pushed open her door and he followed her in. He heard the door click shut as he glanced around the room, much the same as his own. Except she had her curtains left wide open, showing off the night sky and the courtyard below.

“I like the view,” she admitted, walking past him and glancing at the window, before turning and rummaging around the small satchel that had her clothing. “Do you need to get anything from your room?”

“Possibly.”

“Alright. If you’re not back in ten, I’m hunting you down.” She glanced at him and winked, and Ben couldn’t help but smile, before he turned and hurried out. Rey waited until the door shut, before she pulled out her sleeping tunic and began to change.

She hadn’t exactly thought through telling Ben to sleep with her. It had just come out. And honestly, her point had been true- this way she could guarantee he was at least trying to sleep. But she hadn’t exactly thought about the intimacy of being that close.

Of course, they  _ had _ already shared a bed. And it had gone just fine.

Once she was changed, she walked over to the window and carefully unlatched it. She opened it slightly, enjoying the cool night breeze that filtered in, took the stuffiness out of the room. She sighed, closing her eyes, feeling herself calming.

But when her door opened and closed again, and she opened her eyes and turned to see Ben, her heart sped back up. He  _ still _ managed to wear black- and oh, she could tease him about that plenty- but his pants and the flowing rode he wore were thin and almost gauzy. They looked-

Regal.

“I don’t remember those being in our hastily packed ambassador survival kits,” she teased, but really, she was struck by the pale sliver of chest she could see.

“Kalin had them left for me,” Ben admitted, “I would imagine something was left for you as well.”

Rey  _ had _ seen a pile of clothing left on one of the empty shelves- and sure enough, when she looked, they were still there. “ _ Oh _ .”

Ben chuckled and walked over to her, placing a hand on the windowsill and boxing her in against it. Rey encouraged it, tipped back slightly to lean against the sill, so she could look into his moonlit face. His other hand found her waist and squeezed it gently.

She waited a breath, before saying softly, “If you don’t kiss me, I’ll switch us- and pray you don’t fall out the window.”

Ben cracked a smile, and it had Rey’s heart fluttering. It was exactly what she wanted- and even more, when he obeyed. He tipped down, pressed his mouth warmly to hers. The shyness that always seemed to tint their initial kiss was there, but when she wound her arms up around his neck and arched into him, Ben let lose his passion.

He pressed to her mouth harder, stole her breath, mimicked her nip earlier and had Rey gasping. The moment she did, he traced his tongue along the seam of her lips. Rey shivered, gripping onto him tighter, opening her mouth wider and trying to coax him back. It felt strange and new and amazing all at once, and her head was spinning.

His hands both moved to her hips then, and suddenly he was lifting her up. He set her on the windowsill, never once breaking the kiss. She was pressed perfectly against the edge of the window, so as not to lose her balance.

The coordination was impressive, but in the moment Rey barely noticed. She just  _ reacted _ . She hooked a leg back around Ben’s thighs, pulling him in closer, until they were pressed together, nothing but hungry kisses and small, gasped breaths.

Rey’s heart was in her throat, beating wildly. She swore she could feel Ben’s as well, the bond alive and writhing inside her with excitement. She squirmed, pushed at Ben’s tongue when it traced her lips again, followed with her own and teased him for a moment, before pulling back entirely, gasping for breath.

Ben stayed close, panting lightly as well, dark eyes blown and lost in her. Rey forced her hold on him to loosen, until her fingers were playing at the nape of his neck. She leaned back in, pecked his lips gently, before kissing his jaw, and then finding his pulse. Ben tipped his head back, let his eyes fall shut, and she kissed it, felt it beat wildly against her tongue. She grazed her teeth against it experimentally, and felt him shudder, a little groan falling from his mouth.

She squirmed again, feeling hot in skin that was far too tight. She could have spent her whole night like this- and  _ wanted to _ \- but reason took over and told her to settle.

And fear, for the fact that the emotions running through her were so strong, so completely unhinged.

She pulled back again, let go of his neck and leaned against the edge of the window. Ben looked down at her, took his time seeming to memorize her in the moonlight, before she gave him a little smile.

“Let’s…” she trailed off, glanced over at the bed. Ben followed her eyes, and  _ thankfully _ seemed to register her bit of hesitation. He stepped back, and she slid off the windowsill. She left the window open- was hoping the room might chill a bit and cool her to her core- and headed for the bed that was far too large. She climbed onto the bed and slid under the blanket, then turned and watched as Ben untied the robe he was wearing.

“Would this bother you?” he asked, opening it and carefully pulling it off his arms.

_ By the fucking stars no _ . Rey shook her head, feeling her body igniting all over again. She took a single breath and flopped down onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as the bed dipped, and Ben settled in next to her.

Much like their first night, he seemed miles away, settled on his side and giving her far more room than she needed. And while it went against her desire to calm herself, Rey rolled onto her side anyway and grasped the waist of his pants  _ again _ , tugging him back.

Ben actually  _ laughed _ , and let her, sliding back until he was much closer. Rey grinned and tossed an arm over his waist, finding his bare shoulder and placing a single kiss against it.

“Sweet dreams, Ben,” she whispered, and he smiled, unable to remember the last time someone had truly wished that on him.

**

Rey woke slowly, first becoming aware of the pleasant heat around her, then the soft bedding beneath her.

Then the arm, tossed over her waist.

She opened her eyes, blinking back sleep and slowly turning her head. She was on her back, but next to her Ben was still asleep, on his belly, one arm tossed over her waist. Somehow she had gotten one of her legs tossed over his, and effectively, they had pinned each other down.

She smiled, almost laughing over the ridiculousness of it. She squirmed, wanted to reach up and touch his hair, but was having trouble doing it without jabbing into him with her limbs. Her movement woke him though, because moments later he was giving a sleepy grunt, shifting around and just barley fluttering an eye open.

Rey kept her smile as he stared at her, through thick lashes and sleep tussled hair. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Ben’s voice was slow, hoarse and deep from sleep, and Rey  _ liked _ it. He lifted his head for a moment, just to take in their tangled position, before he lowered it again, sliding closer to Rey and pressing into her shoulder. She smiled, moved her leg off of him and managed to roll onto her side, throwing an arm over him and keeping him close.

Ben sighed, as Rey tangled their legs together, playing with his hair affectionately. She felt his lips move, now against her neck, and whispered, “What?”

“I could die right here,” he whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could speak into the air, and not her skin.

Rey couldn’t disagree. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so peaceful- not even during her meditation. She felt like she was gently floating in consciousness and warmth, like she was isolated and there wasn’t a care for anything that happened, outside these two bodies.

Ben kissed her neck once, softly and sweetly, before moving to her jaw. Rey closed her eyes, and when he sought her mouth, she was more than happy to give it. The kiss-  _ kisses _ , because it seemed impossible for them to share just one- were slow, sleep heavy and  _ wonderful _ .

Rey wanted it to go on, but Ben pulled back first, glanced down at her, more awake now, seeming more alert, and then tipped his head down, pressed his forehead to hers.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Rey was about to argue him, to point out  _ she _ was the one that grew up in a fucking desert and had no real  _ class _ , and that her only tie in blood was to a man that had nearly destroyed the entire galaxy-

But she never got to. Instead there was a sharp knock at the door.

Before either could speak, it was opened, and Kalin glided in, too put together to have been awake for less than  _ hours _ . She paused a few steps in though, taking in the two of them tangled together, Ben hovering just slightly above Rey.

And then she  _ smiled _ .

“Well, this explains why I found one room empty.” Ben moved off of Rey and they both sat up, color and heat present in both their cheeks. Kalin giggled, reaching up to try and stifle it in a way that was much less queen and all excited young girl. “I’m sorry to have… disturbed you.”

“We...we just woke up,” Rey said, as if trying to convince the girl she hadn’t interrupted much of anything. Which was half true. They had just woken up.

And what was interrupted was most likely  _ not _ what the girl thought.

Rey tossed the blanket away and tried to exit the bed smoothly- but she had to crawl over Ben, which was not nearly as quick and seamless as she had desired. In the end, Ben rested his face in one hand, seeing no way to salvage  _ whatever _ Rey was doing.

She stood up proudly though once she was off the bed, resting her hands on her hips. Kalin was still giggling, almost uncontrollably, mostly at Ben’s seemingly embarrassed and completely  _ given up _ look.

“I was hoping,” she said, before she paused to take a breath and steady herself. “That perhaps the two of you might join me for a quick breakfast. I have something I would like to offer you both.”

Rey glanced over at Ben, whose hand had fallen back to his lap. Silently he stood up then, grabbing his thin robe and tossing it on, leaving it open as he headed for the door.

“Give us a few minutes and we would be glad to,” he said, giving her a bow of his head, before leaving the room. Rey watched him go, a bit… distracted by the sight. When she pulled her attention back, Kalin was grinning at her.

“ _ What _ ?” She hadn’t meant to have a bit of an attitude with the young queen, but Rey couldn’t  _ help _ but feel friendly about her, and want to act with her as she would with Poe and Finn.

And thank the  _ stars _ they weren’t witnessing this.

“If you like,” she said, “I can continue to dress your prince like that.” She winked, and Rey simply stared, didn’t know  _ what _ to even say. Her silence must have been answer enough, because Kalin simply turned and gave her a single hand wave. “I will see you shortly.”

She exited the room as swiftly as she came- a talent it seemed she had- and Rey was forced to stare at a closed door and wonder just  _ what _ this meant for the day to come.

**

Ben dressed and hurried downstairs, trying to not feel… embarrassed, like a child. It was hard though, feeling as if everyone could see right through him, see every affection and possibly sordid intention he had towards Rey.

His thoughts weren’t all just sweet, he knew. But desire was an emotion he wasn’t used to, and it was just as terrifying as anger. He wanted to quell it, but it was impossible, when Rey was always so close. When she answered in kind to each hesitant but wanting advance he gave.

He found Kalin alone at the table, sipping on some sort of juice. He didn’t really know the produce and agriculture of the planet as well as he  _ should _ , considering the time he had spent pouring over books that gave him trivial facts as such.

He took a seat at her side, and she smiled over her cup at him. “You appear so different when you are… dressed.”

He choked, having just taken a sip of the drink, and turned away, coughing into his fist. She laughed, and he wondered if this was what it was like, to have a little sister.

“I’m sorry, I overstep. It’s just hard not too. You two are quite enjoyable.”

Rey chose that very moment to enter the room. She looked at Ben, concerned, and he waved her off, trying to catch his breath, and thinking he was giving quite the different impression on her than he had, the night before.

So much for being smooth.

He straightened up, face a bit red from the coughing and from Kalin’s commentary. Rey took her seat at the table, and Ben wasn’t sure if he should address the queen’s admission that she found the two of them  _ enjoyable _ \- and ask what she really meant- or try to play it off.

He wasn’t given the chance.

“I can’t stay too long,” Kalin said, seeming ready to jump straight into whatever business she had. “I have a counsel with the Gungen and have lots of ground to travel. However, before that, we have a small detour to make.”

“We?” Rey asked, and Kalin only smiled

“I have a surprise for the both of you. Please eat quickly, so you have time to pack up what you brought. We leave shortly.” She stood up, and Ben followed suit, walking a few steps after her towards the door.

“Why are we leaving?” he asked, and then, in a hushed voice, “If my presence concerns your people-”

Kalin shook her head. “Quiet yourself, Ben Solo. My people do not know who you two are yet, but they will soon. Rumors spread quickly, and I must address the words of the war’s end. My meeting with the Gungen is so we can greet both our people with the same information.” She turned her gaze to Rey. “After that, I will let them know we have members of the Resistance here on Naboo, and that we are slowly beginning to work out how the Galaxy will rebuild itself again.”

“Then why?”

“It’s a gift,” Kalin said. “Now, no more. I won’t ruin the surprise.” She waved them both off at that and left. Ben turned back to Rey, who simply shrugged a shoulder.

“Aren’t you concerned?”

“Not really,” she said, tipping her head back against the chair. “I like her- I  _ trust _ her. Whatever she has to surprise us with I am sure will be wonderful.” Ben walked over, leaned down over her and kissed her forehead gently.

“Your blind faith is amazing,” he whispered, and Rey reached up, dragged her fingertips along his scarred cheek. He almost shivered.

“I guess I’m learning to read people well.” She smiled at him, before letting her hand drop and standing up. “I’m going to go pack up- even though there isn’t much. I think I’m too excited to eat now.”

Ben nodded and followed her out of the room, willing himself to open up to the excitement he could feel buzzing inside himself  _ from _ Rey. If he could be even the smallest bit like her, he was sure he’d be better off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back for more!


	5. Take Me in Your Arms and Leave the Rest

They flew through the beautiful Naboo sky in a small craft. A larger, more regal one followed, which would carry the Queen away after. But when she heard what a pilot Rey was, she insisted the woman fly them and simply follow the course marked on her map.

Ben watched behind them both, couldn’t help but smile at the way Rey glowed as she flew. It was something he had pushed aside, the knowledge that she was so  _ good _ a pilot. Her talent with the Force and the lightsaber and shadowed it entirely.

The craft was fast, and after what didn’t feel like long enough- possibly because Ben could watch Rey until the end of days- they noticed a shape in sight. A building, set upon a warm, green plain.

“Settle us here Rey,” Kalin said, and Rey listened, slowing the craft and bringing them down gently. Kalin was up first, hurrying through the small craft in her large dress. Rey and Ben followed, greeted as they climbed down by the warm sun and the scent of not the city but of  _ grass _ . Of flowers and wood on the wind.

The house was large, rather open looking. Ben and Rey glanced at each other, than at Kalin, who nodded for them to press on.

They walked together, climbing wide stairs onto a large, spacious porch, and then inside. It was lit by the sun filtering in, smelled a bit of dust but mostly of whatever the air here carried. Something fresh and warm and so very  _ alive _ .

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Kalin had followed them in, a few strands of hair escaping her very precariously kept holds.

“It is,” Rey said, “who lives here?”

“Hopefully, the two of you.”

Ben and Rey both turned to her quickly. “ _ What _ ?” It was spoken in unison, and they glanced at each other, before turning back to the queen.

“I believe the two of you may need… some space from the capital, from the work I believe you will need to do.” She smiled, then added, “a bit of privacy, perhaps, to enjoy this limbo before you are needed once more by the galaxy.”

Ben quirked a brow. “You sound as if you have  _ plans _ .”

“A queen always has plans. And I will gladly share- but for now, perhaps you two ought to focus on  _ yourselves _ . Seems you have a lot on your minds.” Her eyes shifted to Rey, and Ben knew her eyes were locked on the saber at Rey’s side. “I haven’t seen that lightsaber once. But rumors say you, Rey, are the last of the Jedi.”

“No,” Rey said, quickly, and Ben glanced at her. But  _ wasn’t _ she? She had trained with Luke, with Leia. The Force flowed through her like no other. Why was she denying it?

Kalin didn’t comment on her refusal, simply turned to Ben. “And  _ you _ seem to still want answers for questions I am not privy to. I told you to find your grandmother’s footsteps and stand in them- where better to start than her home?”

“Wait,” Rey said, before Ben finished,

“This is  _ Padmés _ home?”

Kalin nodded. “Ever since her death, it has been abandoned. My predecessors used to try and keep it up, but none of us felt  _ right _ in it. I had it properly looked through yesterday, after I learned of your connection to Amidala." She folded her arms. “Take some time to yourselves. I will check in on you when I have more to share. Do it for each other, if not for yourselves, or for me.”

Ben looked at Rey, who shrugged a shoulder, didn’t seem to have a reason as to  _ not _ . Which was fine… but something about this house felt haunted to him. Felt alive. And  _ gods _ , could he really stay here?

Seemed he wasn’t going to get a choice.

“Enjoy yourselves,” Kalin said, waving at them, and gods be  _ damned _ turning and leaving as if she had never been. Ben wasn’t sure how she had ever perfected that.

They listened to the royal ship lifting off, before either really moved. Once it was gone, Rey was roaming around, along the polished floor and running her hand over couches, counters, glancing at windows.

“What is she thinking,” Ben mused quietly, trailing behind Rey.

“Who knows,” she said, pausing to grasp a windowsill and study the view, out across the plains. “I’m sure we’ll know soon though.”

Ben folded his arms, wanting to pursue the question more but having  _ no where to go _ . So instead, he focused on what Rey had said, that had confused him. “Why did you say you weren’t a Jedi?”

Rey’s shoulders tensed. Ben could feel a sudden spike of emotions in the bond.

“I’m not,” she finally said. He frowned.

“What do you mean you’re not? You’re the  _ last _ .” He took a step towards her and Rey spun around, her eyes wide and-

Wild? Terrified? He wasn’t entirely sure.

“No,  _ Luke _ was the last. I… I…” Rey shook her head. “I don’t  _ want _ to be one. I’m not. I just  _ can’t _ .”

“How? When the Force is so  _ strong _ in you?”

“That’s not what makes a Jedi!” Rey yelled it, and Ben was taken aback by the sudden burst. She stared up at him for a moment, before shaking her head, frowning deeply. She reached up, pinched the bridge of her nose as if her head was throbbing. “Forget it.”

She moved passed him, and Ben spun, watching her go. What had he  _ said _ ? What had he  _ done _ ?

He was lost, watching her go. Truly lost.

**

Rey let herself upstairs. The doors were all open, but there was one that seemed more ornate, off to the side. It opened to a large bedroom- far larger than a room ever needed to even be. She walked in, stopping to glance down at the saber at her side.

_ Her’s _ . Not Luke’s, not Leia’s. Completely her own. And wasn’t this what she had wanted? What she had strived for?

She pulled it off her belt, threw it onto the bed. Once, it might have been. But she hadn’t  _ understood _ the complexities, behind the Jedi masters. She hadn’t understood how muted their emotions were, how locked in.

She couldn’t  _ do _ that. Not now. Maybe once- but now this tumult spun inside her for Ben, and she couldn’t understand how she was meant to ignore it. To pretend she didn’t  _ love _ -

The thought froze her. And if summoned by her very mind, she heard Ben’s footsteps, along the hall, until they paused, in the doorway.

She turned, didn’t expect to see him looking  _ worried _ . “I’m sorry,” he said, “I don’t know what just happened, but I… I said something that upset you.”

Rey’s eyes softened. SHe shook her head, shoulders slumping. Ben walked over to her, reached out and gently held her shoulders, thumbs rubbing little circles into her skin.

“Can you tell me why?”

Rey took a slow breath, let it out. If she tried to explain it, would she sound insane?

She just had to hold faith that Ben would  _ understand _ .

“I  _ can’t _ be a Jedi,” she said, softly. “It’s not just the Force, Ben. There’s so much more.  _ You know _ . I thought I could control myself, could just silence my emotions but…” Rey bit her lip, swallowed the lump in her throat. “How can I just pretend I feel  _ nothing _ when I look at you?”

She watched his eyes soften, melt into pools of glossy warmth. His arms slid around her, and Rey welcomed the comfort, pressed herself into his chest and rubbed her cheek against his shirt. His hand stroked her back slowly, as she clutched onto him.

“It scares me,” she admitted, feeling like there was nothing to gain from trying to deny the truth. “That I could love you, and not control it.”

She felt Ben’s hold tighten on her, and then his lips, in her hair. Kissing softly, whispering her name. Rey closed her eyes.

“I’d rather be as I am. I’d rather  _ feel _ than pretend I don’t.”

“You’re afraid of your emotions,” Ben said, speaking softly, as if somehow they weren’t alone, but surrounded by countless eyes and ears and knowing thoughts. “But what you make me feel  _ terrifies _ me too.” He clutched her then, so tightly Rey wondered if she could just sink right into him. “What if my  _ desire _ is the same as my anger?”

Rey lifted her head, glanced up at him. Ben was smiling at her, a little sad.

“Seems we’re scared of the same thing, in the end.”

He did have a  _ point _ . And that meant, to Rey, that they just needed to find a way to deal with it together.

She stepped back, turned and walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. She patted the spot next to her, and Ben walked over, settling in at her request.

“Talk to me,” she said, “help me sort out my thoughts.”

“I feel this is the reverse of what it should be,” Ben said. “What needs elaboration? The consequences of my anger? Or that when I look at you, I feel like I might burn from my bones out?” Rey inhaled sharply, tried to  _ not _ blush because she didn’t want to  _ focus _ on what Ben meant, exactly. Just on the differences between the two.

Desire and anger.

_ Want _ and  _ violence _ .

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting me,” she said, glancing up at him and resting her hand on his knee. “ _ Hate _ , though, it doesn’t bring any  _ good _ . It just seethes and seethes and eats you alive.”

“If you can’t control it,” Ben pointed out, “Wouldn’t it be worse to ignore it all together?”

“Then wouldn’t it be worse to ignore your  _ desire _ as well?”

Ben pressed his lips together. And Rey knew she had him.

“Acknowledge it, but make sure it never allows you to forget that you  _ feel _ the emotion, but you are  _ not _ just that.”

She squeezed his knee, went to pull her hand back, but Ben caught her mid-motion. He pulled her hand to his lips, kissed her knuckles, and asked softly, “Then isn’t it the same for you?”

Rey stared at him. “No, Jedi can’t-”

“What if they  _ had _ been allowed to feel. To  _ truly _ feel.” He let go of her hand. “Maybe things would be different.”

Rey paused. Maybe they would. Maybe the galaxy wouldn’t have ended up with the fate it had, if there had been a different  _ stance _ on emotion. If Jedi were taught to embrace them but still know the difference, between being  _ owned _ by that emotion and not.

“You’ve rewritten every rule set in front of you,” Ben said, “Why not this rule as well?”

And  _ hells _ , Rey didn’t have an argument. Ben had torn down her very predicament in a few sentences- while she had done the same to his.

“If I rewrite this rule,” Rey said, “then so do  _ you _ . We do it together.”

Ben nodded, reached behind her to grasp the lightsaber she had tossed away. He held it out, and Rey took it back, enjoying the brush of their fingers.

“We’ll do everything together,” he said, and Rey didn’t doubt it, for even a moment.

**

Evening fell after they spent some time exploring the long forgotten house. While there was no Archives like at the capital, Padmé had had a number of books, and Ben was enjoying skimming the covers, occasionally pulling one from the shelf to flip through it. Poetry and history and politics all mixed together. That alone seemed to tell him more than anyone ever had about her.

Rey had gone outside, had left for a time to get a feel for the grounds around them. She had returned as the sun was setting, just in time to eat  _ something _ , before she was back out again. Ben had watched her go, looking far more at ease than she had earlier- before deciding he missed her company. He took the book in hand- Ancient Naboo Fables- and headed outside, found Rey practicing stances with her saber. It’s rich golden yellow glow broke the dark of the night, and seemed mesmerizing.

Ben sat down in a comfortable chair, flipped the book open on his lap, and then completely ignored it. Rey was too distracting to watch. She moved in a way that was so fluid and natural, he couldn’t fathom that she was, technically, still new to the training. That he had years upon years of learning more than she, and yet he was sure he would  _ never _ move as easily as she did.

He watched her toss the saber as she spun and catch it effortlessly, smiling to herself as she dropped into a crouch. The cool night breeze was blowing strands of her hair about, and Ben tapped his fingers on the book, wanting to brush them back.

She was a natural at everything, of course she would be a natural at utterly destroying his heart and mind.

He leaned back, tipping his head and choosing to look up at the night sky, speckled with little pearlescent stars. He’d had the day to mull over what the two of them had discussed. And  _ truly _ , he understood Rey’s concerns. He, of all people, knew how easy it was to succumb to his emotions.

But he had meant it, when he said perhaps they would all be living different lives, if the Jedi had embraced them a bit more.

But his fear of using the Force since his return mirrored her fear of accepting a Jedi fate. And Ben could say to  _ hell _ with the Jedi title, the galaxy had burned to the ground and was rising through the ashes, it didn’t have to mean  _ anything _ anymore. He just didn’t want to see Rey lose this side of herself.

When he lifted his head again, caught her moving, heard her  _ laughing _ because she was simply enjoying herself- he knew he would do anything to make sure she never lost it. Not a single part of herself. To anyone, even him.

Rey paused, her back to him, feet apart and planted firmly. Her saber was still pulsing, pointed down at the ground. When she looked back, Ben felt his heart thud painfully. She was terrifying and gorgeous, and he could die under that stare.  _ Gladly _ .

The saber died out, leaving them in just the glow of the stars. “You’re watching me,” she said, and Ben closed the book in his lap, holding it up.

“You’re more interesting.” She smiled, turned and walked over to him and leaned over, looking at the book’s spine.

“Going to read me a bedtime story?” she teased.

“If that’s what you want.” She shrugged a shoulder, then in a movement he hadn’t expected at all, gently but suddenly settled herself onto his lap, tossing her legs up to balance on the large chair’s arms.

“Read on, little prince,” she teased. Ben stared at her for a moment, before grinning, and settling the book on top of her, flipping it open randomly. He began to read, barely registering the words at all, distracted more by the way Rey let her head lean on his shoulder. By every little movement as she would try to get closer, until she was reaching across her body, gently holding onto his shirt, as if for balance that she didn’t need.

Eventually, Ben was aware that her breathing evened out, turned shallow and slow. He paused at the end of a sentence, looked at her- and found her eyes were shut. She looked completely at peace, and he took a moment to simply marvel at it. He felt so completely tight in his chest, elated and about to combust with  _ something _ so strong, it was terrifying.

He had forced thoughts of  _ some _ of what Rey had said earlier down, out of his mind. Otherwise, he may have gone mad. But in that moment, he couldn’t help but think her fear of loving him was so completely contradictory to how he felt.

His love for her was the only thing saving him, in the end.

He reached up, gently brushed stray strands of her hair back. Then he closed the book, leaving it on the seat, and slid his arms beneath Rey so he was cradling her. He stood carefully, making sure she continued to lean into his shoulder, and headed back inside.

As he was navigating the dark house, he thought back to the shock her friends had back at the Resistance Base, when he admitted she had slept through him leaving. He wondered what they would say to her falling asleep like this- if it had ever happened before.

And was he caring about them now? More than just knowing he needed to make right by them, by  _ everyone _ \- but did he care because he knew Rey did? Was that part of this?

The thoughts were rolling around wildly in his head, and Ben had to pause in the doorway to the bedroom and take a slow breath to try and quiet them. Later,  _ later _ he could examine all of this. Right now, he just wanted to focus on Rey.

He crossed the room and gently laid her out on the large bed. She sighed, fluttering her eyes open, a slow, lazy smile spreading across her mouth. Ben returned it, bent down and kissed her temple, and she reached out, found his hand.

“Stay,” she whispered, squeezing gently. He kept the smile, didn’t dare dream of a day where he denied that request. She released his hand and he walked around the bed, climbing in, and this time sliding up against Rey, tossing his arm over her and pulling her right back to his chest.

She hummed her approval. Ben smiled, closing his eyes himself, not even caring that they were still fully dressed. For the moment, he was beyond content, knowing Rey trusted him this much, wanted him this close.

And feeling that, maybe, they really were right where they needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have... feelings about Rey taking the title Jedi, only because i feel the whole notion of what a Jedi is needs to be reformed, if they're going to have a place in the new galaxy.


	6. What Happens if I Let it Go?

Rey woke first, as she would find seemed to be the usual for them. They had tossed in their sleep, and now Ben was flat on his back, Rey snuggled into his side contently.

She sighed, kept her eyes shut and tightened her arm around him. She barely remembered teasing him about bedtime stories, and then  _ nothing _ .

She must have fallen asleep.

He must have carried her.

She smiled, almost wished Ben was awake so she could tease him about it. The big bad  _ darklord _ daintily carrying her through the house.

She giggled to herself, before lifting her head, taking advantage of the morning light to get a good look at him. Sleep made him look so young, smoothed the crease in his brow he often got from thinking too hard.

She reached up, spun some of his hair around her fingers. Their earlier discussion came back to her- and truly, where would the galaxy be if the Jedi had allowed their own to truly embrace their emotions? Where would  _ they _ be?

Would Rey have ever been on Jakku? Would there have been a need to hide? And Ben? Would his grandmother have lived, would he have grown up here, truly a little prince?

She tried to picture him in the more traditional clothing, the bright reds set against blacks and golds. She pictured him unscarred, his hair longer, woven with gold. She pictured him  _ smiling _ .

Fate had robbed them, she was sure. But even  _ being _ here with him was proof they were taking back what had been theirs all along.

She released his hair and reached over him, gently traced the scar on his face. He stirred then, eyes fluttering open. Rey smiled softly at him, and before he could even say anything, leaned over and kissed his untouched cheek.

“Good morning,” she whispered. He simply looked up at her for a moment, before reaching up to cup the back of her neck. He tugged her in, and Rey fell closer, her mouth pressed sweetly to Ben’s. He kissed her slowly, until her eyelids fell, until she sank her hand back into his hair, leaned over, sighed into his mouth.

When he lessened the pressure on the nape of her neck, Rey pulled back, just enough to see him as her eyes reopened. “Good morning,” he said back, voice hoarse from sleep. Rey bit her lip, and dared to lean down, steal one more quick kiss. When she pulled back again, she sat up, crossing her legs and enjoying as Ben sat up, stretching his arms up and rolling his shoulders.

“What?” he asked, when she was quite obviously staring.

“Nothing.”

He chuckled. “ _ Sure _ . You’re thinking something. You were when I woke up, too.”

Rey pursed her lips, then shrugged a shoulder. “You’d look regal with longer hair.”

Ben paused, quite obviously not expecting any comment of that sort. Rey just ignored him, climbing off the bed and bouncing on her heels.

“Let’s get something to eat,” she said, “and then I have plans for us.”

“No elaboration?” he asked, and she waved him off.

“Just pondering what you might look like as a real  _ prince _ . Set it aside, we’ve got more fun things to focus on.”

“Such as?” he asked as he stood up.

Rey smiled, wicked and playful and something  _ conniving _ in all the right ways. “We’re going to train.”

**

The morning air was refreshing, and Rey closed her eyes and breathed it in deeply. It had taken a little coaxing, but Ben had eventually followed her outside. 

“If you’re going to meditate, you don’t need me around,” he called, a few paces back. Rey turned, smiling as she reached up, began knotting her hair back out of her face.

“Oh, we’re not meditating,” she said. “We’re  _ sparring _ .” Ben stared at her for a moment, before a crease formed in his brow. After a moment, he shook his head. Rey frowned. “Why not?”

He was slow to answer, seemed to be searching his words, before he finally said, “I don’t want to.”

Rey’s frown grew. “That’s a  _ lie _ .” She took a single step towards him. “Don’t lie to me Ben.”

He winced, then let his shoulders go slack. “I’m sorry,” he admitted, and Rey nodded, accepting it. “I just…  _ can’t _ .”

“Why not?”

“I can’t use the Force.” He said it so softly it could have been swallowed up by the wind. Rey walked up to him then, reaching out and taking both his hands. Their fingers tangled together, and she squeezed gently.

“It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you  _ won’t _ .” Ben sighed, glancing away from her.

“What if I can’t control it?” he asked. “What if it just burns me from the inside out?” He turned back to her. “What if I  _ hurt _ again?”   
  


His voice sounded like agony, and she wasn’t sure if he meant hurt  _ someone else _ or  _ himself _ . Still, she held onto his hands. “That’s why we should be training together,” she reasoned, “to make sure you  _ always _ have control over it.” She leaned in, kissed the corner of his mouth very softly. “I won’t  _ let _ you go back to who you were,” Rey promised. “I won’t let Ben die again.”

She let go of his hands, took a few steps back, and turned around, smiling at him.

“Now, come and  _ get me _ .”

At that she took off running, sprinting out along the green plains and up a small hill. She knew Ben hadn’t moved at first, but she could hear him, after a few moments, chasing after her. She grinned, loved the wind hitting her, as she tried to calculate how far back he was without looking.

He had bigger strides than her, but Rey was  _ fast _ , and she knew it. She waited until she crested another hill, before turning- finding Ben closer than she expected.

Still, grinning she reached up, focusing all her energy and holding her hands out. He jerked to a stop, looking as if the wind was knocked completely out of him.

“Come on Ben,” she taunted, “ _ break free _ .” She knew he could. She was holding on tight, but not as tightly with the Force as she  _ could _ . He wouldn’t be able to break free physically- but if he tapped in as well, he could fight her back.

Except he struggled against the invisible hold and  _ didn’t _ . Rey tightened her hold, watched him grit his teeth in frustration. She didn’t want him  _ mad _ , she simply wanted him  _ free _ .

She knew he would always be missing a part of himself, if he denied the Force and the pull it had to him.

“Fight back,” she called, “it’s  _ okay _ . I’m here.”  _ I won’t ever lose you again _ .

Still, Ben continued to struggle, and for a moment Rey thought perhaps this wasn’t the day. But then she watched his hands clutch at his sides, and suddenly she was repelled backwards. She stumbled a step back as he did forward, lifting his hands and looking at them and  _ realizing _ he had let the Force back in.

Rey smiled. Ben looked at her, held her eyes, and when she nodded, gave him the  _ okay _ again, he stalked forwards. For a moment, against the sun, casting him in shadow, he looked menacing and could have been the same black clad  _ monster _ she first met. But she could see a curl forming on his lips, a smile that was far from  _ malevolent _ , and just simply joy at the familiar feeling coursing through his body.

He lifted his hand, and Rey stumbled back another step. He could have sent her flying feet back, and she was pleased to see his precision was still there. She planted her feet firmly on the ground, braced herself for the next surge- and yet, Ben just kept walking towards her. She waited until he was close, then let her shoulders drop, about to ask if he was alright, if he was having doubts-

And then he  _ had her _ . She felt the hold on her shoulders, her legs, frozen entirely. Rey gasped, and Ben reached out, slipped his hand to her neck, mimicked a hold that could have been  _ terrifying _ and deadly- and yet, he was gentle, fingers feeling as if they caressed her skin. Rey almost  _ liked it _ .

He leaned closer, brushed his mouth to hers once, a ghost of a kiss.

“Never let your guard down,” he whispered, and Rey smiled.

“It’s always down with you,” she admitted. She felt the hold on her weaken at that, and her smile grew, feeling this surge of affection from him, inside her own chest. Feeling his hold, his control on the Force weaken by just a few simple words. “Now, let me go.”

There wasn’t a second of hesitation. The pressure of the Force was gone, and he had pulled his hand back, completely severed all contact with her. Rey rolled her shoulders, before giving Ben another smile.

“Did it feel good?”

She knew the answer without asking. She knew from the feelings that emanated off him like static, from the light in his eyes- from her own experience. Once you knew the Force, letting it go was hard. Getting it  _ back _ , feeling it again, was one of the best feelings.

“Yes,” he admitted, though he sounded hesitant.

“You had full control,” Rey pointed out. “You stopped as  _ soon _ as I said to. I think you could be filled with rage,” she reached out, placed her palm against his chest, “and if I said  _ stop _ , you would. You’d feel it here.”

She knew the bond tugged inside him, as it did her, right at the chest, like a vice grip around his heart.

“It’s not your  _ responsibility _ to keep me contained,” Ben pointed out, but Rey just shrugged.

“We look out for the people we care about.  _ You _ just happen to be on that list.” She winked, and she watched him flush ever so gently. “Besides, holding your leash isn’t hard.”

“Am I your mad dog now?”

Rey full on  _ grinned _ . “Maybe. You could listen better.”

“Oh?” Ben’s voice dropped, suddenly low, gravel like and making Rey want to tremble. “Then command me, and see if I satisfy.”

Her breath caught, but she  _ wouldn’t _ let him have the upper hand. She reached out, shoved him back with the Force until he fell into the grass. He sprawled there, and Rey stepped over him, pinning him down  _ hard _ and standing with a foot on either side of his waist.

“I’m sure you could,” she teased, watching his eyes turn to fire- and she could  _ feel _ his desire, pulsing through her. It mirrored her own- and she wanted to give into it, to straddle him and let herself finally  _ explore _ everything she wanted, everything  _ he _ wanted.

But she had started this day with a mission, and she wasn’t satisfied with  _ herself _ yet, in breaking him back into the Force.

“But right now, I just want  _ one thing _ from you.”

She bent down, blocked out the sun, and gave enough slack to the Force that Ben could arch up, try to get closer to her. He whispered  _ what _ , and she could feel his breath, his very existence, ghosting into her bones.

She smirked, this perfect curl to her lips that she could  _ feel _ made Ben’s heart skip a beat.

“ _ Catch me _ .”

And before Ben could speak again, she had stepped away from him and taken off in a run, out into the open ground, under the warm sun. And she knew without looking back, he’d be right behind her.

**

Come nightfall, Rey was exhausted down into her bones. Cleaned up, she was stretched out on one of the plush couches within the main seating area of the home, staring up at the intricately swirled ceiling. The large bay windows were exposed, curtains set aside, so if she had sat up, she’d be able to see the gorgeous night sky outside.

She closed her eyes, sighing softly. She felt… at peace. More so than she had in possibly her entire life. She felt secure in this home, liked the very build of it and the ghosts that seemed to live in the walls as memories that she couldn’t even  _ see _ , but knew had to exist.

She liked waking up next to Ben. She liked seeing him re-emerging from himself, coming back into existence from the shell that had been spit out on Tatooine. She could still sense trepidation in him, but seeing him beginning to break through today had been beautiful.

She couldn’t even bring herself to feel  _ bad _ about being away from the capital. She knew that Poe and Finn had expected her to do a  _ job _ of sorts here, but she had come for Ben. And if a little space was what he needed to truly begin the healing process, she figured they could afford it.

As if summoned by her thoughts, she could hear him, bustling about. She didn’t open her eyes, just enjoyed knowing he was there, out of sight but within reach. Besides, until he was close enough to see, she would prefer to get lost in memories of his smile, from earlier.

“Are you sleeping?” He asked from across the room, but very softly, as if he had been afraid of waking her.

“No,” Rey said, opening her eyes once she heard him walking closer. She sat up slowly, smiling in a lazy way at him as he settled in next to her. She leaned over onto his shoulder, gently sliding her fingers up along his arm, feeling him relax beneath her.

The silence was glorious. Rey couldn’t remember ever wanting to just sit with someone, to not need to speak or  _ act _ . She was content knowing he was just there, that for one single night, maybe the galaxy could sleep.

She felt him turn, felt a kiss in her hair, and then a quiet  _ thank you _ . She lifted her head, and Ben smiled at her.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said, “just gave you a moving target,” she added in a teasing voice. Ben huffed, before he turned and kissed her cheek, quickly.

“You know what you did,” he whispered, his arm sliding across her body, to hook around her waist. He pulled her closer, and Rey reached up and braced one arm around his shoulders, the smile unable to leave her face.

“All I did was refuse to give up on a man I knew was here all along.” Ben leaned down, pressed his forehead to hers, and Rey loved that he seemed to want so much  _ contact _ . He hadn’t opened up about his years with the Order, but she was fairly sure he had been touch starved, if his constant desire for closeness was considered.

She leaned up, kissed the tip of his nose, and loved watching him jerk back slightly, looking confused. Rey just laughed, untangling from him and standing up. When he gave her a questioning look, she just simply shrugged a shoulder.

“Can’t be helped,” she said, “when you get  _ cute _ like this.”

She turned before he could respond, walking away and towards the large kitchen area. She heard him say, very confused,  _ cute? _ And had to swallow down her laughter.

Kalin had taken the liberty of indeed stocking the home, and Rey grabbed a pear from a bowl of colorful fruits that was out. She didn’t know what half of them were, but she was looking forward to figuring it out. She had been enjoying  _ everything _ she was discovering recently, and had high hopes that everything unknown still would be wonderful, come discovery.

She walked back down the few steps, heading back for Ben, who had turned, was looking at the night sky outside. She paused to enjoy it again as well.

“It’s beautiful here.” He said it reverently, and Rey nodded, at first unable to find her voice.

“It is,” she finally said, “Leia would have loved it.” Ben nodded, and Rey could feel his sadness, but didn’t pry. Ben had to mourn, and she had to let him, simple as that.

She lifted the pear and took a bite, focusing on how it seemed the stars could shift in the sky, dance to a rhythm only they heard. The world outside and below may not hear or understand, but that didn’t  _ stop _ the dance from happening.

Her eyes moved to Ben when she heard him standing up. Before he could speak, Rey lifted her hand, focusing on the pear and carefully lifting it into the air. It hovered close to Ben, but after a moment- and a little raise of Rey’s brows- he leaned in, taking a careful bite. Rey laughed as she pulled the fruit back and Ben reached up, pressed the back of his hand to his mouth.

“I never saw fruit like this on Jakku,” Rey said, the pear rotating slowly. “I never saw much of  _ anything _ fresh and lively. And yet here I am, standing on a planet that  _ thrives _ in ways most worlds haven’t been able to in years. Here I am, with everything I could have ever dreamed of at my fingertips.” She stepped closer, looking directly up into Ben’s eyes. “I can feel your sadness, but know we are  _ not _ our beginnings. We are not where we were yesterday, or a lifetime ago.” Her voice dropped, quieter against the silence in the home. “We’re here, in this moment, and we deserve every breath we take.”

Ben reached out, hesitated for a moment, before he ran his fingers into her free hair, pushing it back. “You’re in my head,” he whispered, and Rey turned, kissed at his wrist.

“I’m your balance,” she said, against his pulse. “And you’re mine.”

Ben exhaled, slowly, and she could see his eyes seeming to pool, to soften as he stared at her in pure adoration. She could only return the look, until Ben was shaking his head, smiling.

“A desert scavenger better spoken than anyone I've ever met.”

Rey gave a quiet, single laugh. “And a  _ darklord _ far softer than a king’s  _ pillow _ .”

Ben barked a laugh, tipping his head back, before he scooped Rey up. Her concentration broke, and the pear tumbled to the floor, forgotten as Ben walked through the house with her over his shoulder. She grasped at the back of his shirt, but was too busy laughing at her own tease at him, that she couldn’t really speak.

Ben took her back upstairs, back to the bedroom- to  _ their _ bed, was the only way Rey could think of it- and gently tossed her down. She flopped back, stared up happily at him.

“What now  _ prince _ ,” she asked, “are you trying to prove me wrong?”

Ben hesitated for just a moment, as if he hadn’t even  _ thought _ that far, before he climbed onto the bed, bracketing her entire bodyq beneath his. He leaned down, hovered just over her mouth and spoke, “Is that what you want?”

Rey didn’t hesitate.

“ _ Yes _ .”

Ben pressed his mouth to hers, the kiss pure  _ want _ , not soft at all like most of theirs. Rey groaned into it, reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, grasped tightly as he bit at her lip, pushed the moments of pain away with his tongue. She thought she had been braced, but Rey was dizzy instantly, feeling as if she was drowning in the kiss alone.

Still, she had meant what she said. The velvet softness of their love was wonderful- but this aspect, she wanted as well. Rey wanted to experience the hunger left inside him.

His tongue pushed into her mouth, and Rey sucked at it, before nipping it. Ben gasped, and she took full advantage, moved her arms from around him and put her hands on his chest,  _ pushing _ . For a single moment he didn’t move, his bulk far outweighing hers, but then he followed, allowed Rey to roll them over, so that Ben was pinned beneath her.

Rey straddled him, her heart racing wildly in her chest. She could feel her blood pumping through  _ each vein _ , and wondered if she could simply combust from pure excitement. As if to ground her- or possibly to ground  _ himself _ \- Ben reached up, placed his hands on her thighs.

Rey smiled then. “Show me how you want me,” she said, hoping the tremor in her voice wasn’t evident. “Show me the desire that  _ scares _ you.”

Ben groaned, and Rey leaned over him, kissed him as he had kissed her. Sharp teeth, inquisitive tongue- and something burning so hot inside her she couldn’t contain it.

Ben’s hands slid up along her sides, desperately clawing at the fabric of her clothes. Rey let him struggle, moved her mouth to his jaw, and then to his neck. He tipped his head back, and she dragged her teeth along his pulse, reveled in the way he gasped. His hips bucked up into her, and she could  _ feel _ how badly she was getting to him.

It made her ache.

She gave up her position, rolling off of Ben, getting a confused stare from him for a moment. His hair was already disheveled, lips red and parted- and gods above and devils below, Rey wanted him completely undone.

“This,” she said, reaching out and plucking at Ben’s shirt. “I want it gone.”

He was up instantly, pulling his shirt off and tossing it away. Rey stared, taken aback for a moment at how quickly he had  _ listened _ . And then distracted, because every bit of skin Ben gave her tore away at her sanity.

Rey forced her eyes to Ben’s, held his stare as she began working at her own clothing. Every bit of himself- skin and soul- that he bared, Rey planned to match. She swore she could  _ feel _ his pulse rise-

And then could hear him breath, as she finally tossed away the clothing. Bare chested now, the air felt cold, and Rey almost shivered. That single, small movement, pulled Ben in, had him crawling back on the bed, guiding her back into the pillows.

Rey settled back, content in her sitting position, as Ben kissed her- sweetly now. She wanted to coax him back to the desperation she had felt earlier, but he wasn’t at her mouth long enough. Instead his lips traced her jaw, down her neck, to the curve of her shoulder.

Rey sighed, let her eyes fall shut, as one of Ben’s hands found the curve of her waist and gently gripped it. “Stop me,” he whispered into her skin, “ _ anytime _ .”

Rey didn’t respond. She  _ adored _ that he was reminding her that she had the power here, that she could stop this if it became too much- but she knew she wouldn’t need to. The desire he so feared burned just as hotly inside her, and she was ready for it to scorch them together.

Ben’s mouth moved to her collar bone, and Rey squirmed a little, before his mouth dropped lower. His tongue laved over one nipple, and Rey gasped, arching into the touch without even meaning to. The cool, comfortable chill in the room was chased away when his mouth closed over the bud, tongue rolling along it as it hardened more.

His hand moved from her waist, until his whole arm cradled her. Rey reached for his hair, tangled it around her fingers, as he sucked gently. She pushed towards the touch, yet couldn’t stop squirming, nerves alighting in her body and centering, buzzing and electric, between her thighs.

Her nails scraped at Ben’s scalp, and he groaned. The vibrations made Rey moan, shudder beneath him, and suddenly he was pulling off, moving to her other breast to torment her in the same way. His free hand cupped her breast, teased her already sensitive nipple.

She felt she was losing her mind.

Just when it was almost  _ too much _ , Ben released her. His mouth moved to the hollow of her ribs, traced down her stomach in feather light kisses. Gasping, Rey pressed back into the pillows, trying to push her body towards each kiss.

When Ben reached the waist of her pants, he stopped, pulled away from her- and Rey  _ whined _ , didn’t want the glorgious torture to end. He smirked, this cocky look on his face that made her want to both tear him  _ down _ and build him up.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, his words not reflecting the look- too calming, almost begging her in a way to  _ keep him _ . He turned, reached down and began working at Rey’s boots. He tossed them away, one at a time, before he was back, hands working at her pants.

His mouth opened, as if he was about to ask if this was  _ alright _ , and Rey reached down, grasping at the clothing and  _ shoving _ . Ben looked startled for a moment, before heat and desire took over the look, and he was nearly tearing at her clothing, dragging it down her legs and leaving it forgotten, falling off the bed.

Ben was back at her hips, kisses trailing from their gentle curve, down to the dark curls at Rey’s groin. She gasped, then gave a frustrated groan when he moved to her inner thigh, dragging his teeth along it.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” she breathed, loving and  _ hating _ it, and Ben lifted his head. She opened her eyes, locked his dark gaze, his pupils blown. He looked as tormented as she felt. “Ben,” she said, forcing her voice to be steady, even though it wanted to shake.

She didn’t say more- she wasn’t sure  _ what _ she wanted to even say. But he nodded, understanding the slow roll of her hips she gave, and instead of tormenting her, lowered his head and finally gave her the  _ satisfaction _ she needed.

His tongue traced her lips gently, before pressing past. He flicked over her clit, tentative at first, as if he was trying to  _ learn _ , and Rey gave a squeak, the sensation so sudden she jerked slightly. Ben got his hands on her thighs, pushed them open more and gripped tightly, repeating the action. He got bolder, as Rey’s surprised sounds turned to pleased sighs and moans, as her hips began to roll.

She reached out, grasped at the bed, and wished she could somehow hold onto  _ him _ . The gentle flicks turned into harder presses of his whole tongue, and Rey gave a little cry, when her body clenched tightly and she  _ thought _ for a moment she might come.

Ben groaned, grinding down into the bed. Rey lifted her head, could see the motions, and bit her lip, wanting this to never end but wanting  _ him _ to get a little relief as well.

“Ben,” she said, her thought cut off by a groan as he sucked at her clit, made her entire body tremble. “ _ Ah _ \- do… you…”

Ben lifted his head, growled out  _ no! _ , as if he could read her mind, as if he  _ knew _ her thoughts, and then had his mouth pressed to her pussy again, tongue working  _ harder _ over her clit.

Rey arched her back, gasped for breath. She ground into him, felt his fingers digging so hard into her thighs they could bruise. She  _ wanted _ them to. She wanted a thousand reminders on her body for how  _ good _ she felt, in that moment.

Her muscles tightened, relaxed, moved in such a rhythm that she was so sure she had transcended her body itself. And then, in a rush that hit her like a flood, she came. She arched so far she swore her bones shattered, but couldn’t even  _ notice _ , the pure bliss coursing through her the only thing on her mind.

Ben held on, his tongue never once pausing, until Rey was melting into the bed, body loose and lax and feeling like nothing but  _ water _ . Only then did Ben push himself up again. He was panting, looking at Rey as if he was searching for her approval, her praise.

Rey licked her lips, tried to find her voice. Hoarse, she managed to whisper, “come here,” and Ben crawled up her body. She cupped his face, tugged him in the last few inches, and kissed him, passion and adoration surging from her. Ben was still for a moment, as if he hadn’t expected it, but he fell into the kiss with an old ease that made it seem like they had done this a thousand times.

Rey could taste herself on his lips, his tongue, and it made her want more. She had never wanted  _ anyone _ like she did Ben, to such an intensity that the moment she found release, she was hungry for more.

She sucked at his bottom lip, tugged with her teeth as she broke the kiss. He groaned for her, and she let go of him, reached down between them and fumbled with the fastening of his pants. She groaned in frustration, because her hands were shaking and she couldn’t get Ben’s clothes  _ off _ , and Ben gently pushed her hands away. He climbed off her and the bed, nearly kicking his boots across the room and then fumbling with the rest of his clothes.

Rey wished she could say she remembered every little detail of that moment, but she was  _ starving _ for him again, and all she could think when he crawled back onto the bed was to grab for him, dig her nails into his shoulders and pull him close. He slotted between her thighs as she kissed his mouth, his jaw, his neck- anywhere she could reach. Ben groaned, the sound turning choked as she let go of one shoulder and reached between them, wrapping her hand around his shaft and stroking up once, slowly.

She nuzzled into his neck, before whispering into his ear, “I still want you.” Ben shuddered, then pressed her back, into the pillows again. Rey went willingly, spreading her thighs more and lifting her hips, watching his eyes seem to turn completely  _ black _ with pure need.

He grasped her hip with one hand, the other wrapped around the base of his cock. Rey held his stare as she felt him rub against her, before pushing at her entrance. She was wet from his tongue, from the pure excitement that had been building for days, that it was  _ easy _ .

She gasped, as she felt her body stretch to allow him in, before the sound turned to a groan. Her eyes fluttered shut, head falling back, feeling like she was choking on her own breath. She heard Ben groaning as well, until she was nestled against him, his arm hooking around her waist. He nuzzled into her neck, kissed gently, and Rey simply enjoyed the sensation of having him inside her. She wrapped her arms around him, let her eyes slowly open, and then turned, just as he lifted his head.

She kissed him, exactly as she had their very first time. Happy and  _ relieved _ , smiling against his mouth and wanting nothing more than to show him the levels of her affection. Ben kissed her back slowly, mirrored her smile, her rhythm, everything she gave him, as if she was the light, the only way.

Rey clutched him a little tighter, wanting  _ so badly _ for him to move, but not wanting to stop kissing him long enough to even ask. Instead, she clenched up around him, and revelled in the choked whine that filled their kiss. His hips pulled back, then snapped forward in reaction, causing Rey to break the kiss and gasp loudly.

Ben shifted, dragged her further down the bed, and Rey followed eagerly, arching her back as he thrust into her quickly,  _ hard _ and desperate, as if this would be his only chance. She cried out to him, his name and strings of curses, got back these needy moans and his whimpers. She dragged her nails along his back, heard him hiss, and then claimed his mouth with bruising force.

Her body was alight again, clenching around him with each thrust and begging for more, more,  _ more _ . She dared to let go of him with one hand, to slide it between them, fingers pressing to her clit- overly sensitive still from Ben’s tongue- and rubbing gently. Rey rolled her hips, panting, and Ben growled out “ _ yes _ ” when he realized what she was doing.

He leaned close to her ear, whispered in a voice that was  _ almost broken _ , “Can you come again?” Rey moaned, nodded, wanted to  _ so badly _ , but didn’t want this to be over.

But Ben snapped his hips so suddenly, so  _ quickly _ , she couldn’t help but arch. He grasped her hips with bruising force, dragging her against him again and again, and Rey sobbed out her breath, shaking as she wrapped her legs around the backs of his thighs, daring to drag him closer and closer.

Ben moved back to her neck, showered her in kisses, as her free hand clutched him tightly. She arched, feeling her body burning up, her belly going tighter and tighter and  _ tighter _ in a white hot knot that was pure bliss.

Until it finally snapped.

Rey cried out, her body clenching rhythmically around Ben. His hips stuttered, and she heard his own breathy moan as he pressed into the crook of her neck, shaking with release that matched her own orgasm in intensity. Rey squeezed her eyes shut, shaking down to her toes, feeling as if each wave, though fading, was still  _ endless _ .

When her orgasm finally subsided, she sank boneless into the bed. Ben followed suit, panting into her hair and managing to hold himself up just enough so as not to crush the breath from her lungs. Carefully, Rey let her legs slide to Ben’s sides, and he pulled out of her.

That was  _ awful _ , a sudden cool emptiness that Rey hadn’t expected. Ben chased it away by tossing his arm over her, pressing against her and kissing her shoulder, then snuggling into her. She smiled, still trying to catch her breath, staring up at the ceiling.

Neither spoke, as minutes stretched. Rey wasn’t sure if time was even  _ real _ in that moment, and didn’t care. She was satisfied down to her bones, content with Ben holding onto her.

Slowly, she turned her head, trying to see him. He lifted his own, his eyes back to their glorious dark depths, wet along his dark lashes and at the corners. She shifted onto her side, reached up and brushed at the corner of one with her thumb.

She smiled, and Ben sighed. “Don’t laugh,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and yet  _ fragile _ . Rey shook her head, leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss. As if she would  _ laugh _ because he could be so open with her.

Instead, she simply asked, “feel good?” Ben huffed, and her smile turned to a  _ grin _ . “I’ll take that as a yes.” She slid in closer, let their legs tangle together, drowsy now that her body and mind were calming down. She was content, down to the very pit of her soul.

More so than she had  _ ever _ been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Anakin, but Rey used a pear better.


	7. Love Lost Believers

Ben woke to a voice, a whisper lost in the breath of the house- so quiet but jarring enough to break away sleep’s hold. He sat up quickly, glancing around the room. It was still dark- dark enough that dawn was hours away. The moonlight helped illuminate a bit of the room, but mostly it was varying shades of shadow.

Ben glanced next to him, saw Rey was still fast asleep. Despite the eeriness of waking, he smiled, reaching out to gently brush his fingers along her hair. He was going to slide back down into the bed, to curl up into Rey’s heat and lull himself back to sleep, but he heard it again, clear as the very breath in his lungs.

_ Ben _ .

He threw the blanket off him, climbing out of bed and taking a moment to hunt down his pants. He was still fastening them as he padded, barefoot, out of the room, glancing both ways along the hallway. Silent and dead, the house slept around him.

Ben crept downstairs quietly, couldn’t find a trace of anything beyond he and Rey having set foot within. He headed outside, the grass chilling beneath his feet, and turned around, trying to take in the whole area around them.

There was no one there.  _ No one _ .

“I’m losing my mind,” he muttered to himself, reaching up to grasp his temples in one hand. But as he said so, the breeze picked up, blew his hair back, seemed to try and coax him. His hand dropped and he turned in the direction it had been blowing, glancing out at the plains and the stars speckling above them.

And faintly, he could see something.  _ Someone _ . Just flickering outlines, far enough away he couldn’t make out anything beyond the tumble of her hair, the hold of her shoulders. There and then gone.

Ben stared, blinked, then sprinted quickly, out along the plains and up the subtle incline. Once he reached the top of the mound, he turned again, trying to survey around him.

_ No one _ .

But he  _ hadn’t _ imagined that. It had been so quick, but it had been  _ real _ . He was so sure of it.

He shivered, folded his arms and realized that, if he could be seen, he would look mad. Half naked and barefoot, out in the middle of the chilled night, on a planet he barely knew. He almost laughed at himself, bit back a bitter chuckle, and headed back for the house.

Rey was in bed where he had left her, seeming so peaceful it was as if she was made of porcelain. He sat on the edge of the bed, just watched her for a moment, feeling her calm sinking in through their bond, into him.

She sighed, then her eyes cracked open, slightly. She stared up at him, well beyond half asleep. He smiled softly at her, and she reached out from under the blankets, brushed her fingers against the skin of his hip, just above his waistline.

“Why are you dressed,” she mumbled, “and  _ cold _ ?” She blinked, as if she was trying to rouse herself, and Ben leaned over, kissed her temple. She sighed softly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he whispered, toying with her hair. “I’m coming back to bed.”

“Good.” She closed her eyes again, settling back in. “Take your clothes off,” she mumbled, and Ben almost laughed. Still, he wasn’t going to argue a single request from her. He stood back up, stripped back down, and then crawled into the bed.

Rey snuggled up to him, wrapping herself around him and chasing the night chill away almost instantly. Ben held her close, letting his eyes fall shut and deciding to put  _ whatever _ he had seen out of his mind, for even a moment.

It could all wait until morning.

**

When Ben woke again, it was to Rey’s fingers in his hair, brushing it back, tangling and toying with it, her lips on his neck, his shoulder. He gave a sleepy groan, felt her smile into his skin. “Good morning,” she whispered, and Ben turned his head, caught her bright smile.

“Good morning.” He tried not to focus on the fact that he had said that more times these past few days with her than he had for  _ years _ , to anyone. That he woke up feeling  _ secure _ , feeling… whole.

Or, at least, patched close to it.

Rey pushed herself up on one elbow. “Did you get up last night?” she asked, and Ben rolled onto his side, so he could face her better.

“Yes.”

She waited a moment, and when he didn’t offer up an explanation, she asked, “Why?”

Ben took a moment to try and piece together what felt like a dream. “I thought I heard someone,” he settled on, and Rey frowned. She pushed herself up fully, sitting with the blanket pooling around her waist. She looked concerned, and seemed to have not a single thought about her nakedness.

“And you didn’t wake me? Ben, what if it had been a scattering of First Order members? The war is over but the battles  _ aren’t _ .”

Ben reached out and took one of her hands, tangling their fingers together and squeezing gently. “It wasn’t like that,” he said, “it was… a woman. I felt like I knew the voice, but I truly cannot remember.” Rey still looked concerned, and Ben tugged at her arm gently. “Come back down here,” he asked, “don’t worry about it. I’m just going mad.”

Rey sighed, but allowed him to tug her down to his chest, settled over him and stole a lingering morning kiss. His hand found her waist and held firm, breath leaving in little sighs as she refused to relinquish the kiss at all.

Ben was so sure she could completely destroy him, with the faintest of touches alone. He was weak to her,  _ for her _ , and yet he wouldn’t change that, for anything.

Rey squirmed against him, and Ben gripped her waist harder, feeling arousal spiking his blood all over again. The fact that the previous night had even  _ happened _ seemed like a mirage, yet there was no denying it.

He’d made love to Rey. She had  _ wanted him _ , in the same ways he wanted her. He’d made her feel  _ good _ , and she-

She had made him ascend into the stars.

Ben growled into the now heated kiss, rolling them over suddenly. He pinned Rey to the bed, and she arched, teasing him as her nipples brushed along his chest. Ben groaned, and Rey gave a cocky smile.

“You’re easy to work up,” she said, “I like it.” She leaned up, pecked Ben’s lips quickly, but was gone before he could kiss her properly.

And Ben couldn’t say a  _ damn thing _ because she was  _ right _ , he was quick to desire with her. Quick to want, quick to  _ fall _ -

But  _ two _ could play at this.

Ben let her fall back to the bed, lessened his hold on her- and promptly slid down her body. He pushed her thighs apart- which was  _ easy _ because at the slightest touch Rey let him in. He slid his arms beneath them, grasping at her hips, and just as Rey began to say his name, he traced the flat of his tongue along her lips.

Rey gasped, and Ben wanted to chuckle to himself, wanted to  _ boast _ that he could undo her as well. But the faintest taste of her drove his lust made, made him fall into some carnal mania that he swore his brain was thick with fever. He pressed closer, teased at her entrance with his tongue, heard her hands smack the bed as she grabbed it.

He teased the tip of his tongue against her clit, felt her shake against him. He was achingly hard now, couldn’t keep his hips from grinding into the bed. Something about making Rey  _ come _ turned him on beyond anything he had ever experienced.

He sucked at her clit carefully, heard her gasp his name out. He tried to follow each cue from her body, each little- and not so little- reaction. This was  _ new _ to him, but he was damned set on making sure Rey knew he could learn.

Her thighs trembled around him, he could hear her breathing picking up. Something was burning in a sweet way within his chest- and he realized it was  _ her _ arousal, seeping into him through their bond. It only drove his passion, made him savor the way she tasted more.

Rey arched, grinding against his mouth, and Ben flicked his tongue, over and over  _ and over _ again, despite the way his jaw burned. He wanted her to come more than  _ anything _ in that moment, and he’d gladly stay between her thighs even if it took his whole life.

It  _ didn’t _ though- much to his joy  _ and _ dismay. Rey groaned out his name, whole body trembling, as she tumbled head first into the rush of her orgasm. Ben let her grind into his mouth, let her dictate how she rode out the pleasure, and simply did his best to keep up.

He felt her begin to relax, but could’t keep himself from teasing. Slowly, he swirled his tongue around her clit, loved the way she  _ squirmed _ and mewled out with satiated happiness. He wondered if he could work her up again, from this point- if her orgasm would be  _ even better _ , but she didn’t give him the chance. He felt her fingers trying to squeeze at his hand that clutched her waist, and lifted his head, saw she was looking at him with dazed, glorious eyes.

“Ben,” she whispered, breathy and soft, and he was moving, crawling up her body and accepting her arms around his neck, her mouth on his. She moaned into the kiss, and Ben was weak for her tongue tracing his lips, testing the points of his teeth.

No single person should have ever been able to undo him the way Rey did- yet here she was.

Her hands wandered his bare chest, down his abdomen, warm fingertips tracing dips of muscle. Ben gasped, hips jerking, when he felt her hand wrap around the base of his aching cock. Rey grinned, moved her mouth to his jaw, his neck. She stroked once, slowly, and he shuddered, swearing he saw pure white.

“Rey,” he managed, voice gravelly. She hummed in response, pausing to rub her thumb over his glans, before her downstroke smeared precum along his cock.

Ben bit his lip, stifling a  _ whimper _ . It was  _ embarrassing _ , that she had touched him  _ once _ , and he felt like he could simply explode. But he was so unused to anyone else’s touch, and  _ everything _ about Rey sent hellfire straight through his veins.

He must have whined- he hadn’t even  _ realized _ it- as she began stroking him slowly, because she hushed him, kissed his scarred cheek. “I wouldn’t leave you like this,” she whispered, and he could just feel her lips move, as she spoke. “Not after how good you made me feel.”

Ben’s hips stuttered, and Rey stroked faster, seeming content that this was going to be quick. Ben was beyond fighting that, instead he turned and sought her mouth, lost himself in her kiss. When he came, it was at the mercy of Rey’s mouth.

Rey kissed him through the orgasm and then continued to do so, until Ben was sure he was oxygen starved. When he finally fell back, panting into the pillows, she followed with him, tossing a leg over his and kissing his shoulder.

“Well,” she said, after a moment of silence, “good morning indeed.”

Ben snorted a laugh, reaching up to cover his mouth. Rey grinned, gorgeous and slightly wicked and completely and utterly  _ breathtaking _ . Ben could only smile up at her, completely enthralled.

He let himself hope, even  _ believe _ , that there would be many more mornings exactly like this.

**

It took less coercion to get Ben to train with her that day, which made Rey feel  _ good _ . She could see his confidence bleeding back into his actions, as he let himself use the Force again and again and  _ again _ . 

By the time the evening was falling, Rey was exhausted down to her bones. But it felt good to move, to  _ test herself _ against Ben. Even now, hovering gently above the grass in meditation, she still felt like he was pushing her- if only because she had to focus very hard to  _ not _ feel his racing emotions and thoughts.

“You’re not focusing,” she said, eyes still shut. Ben didn’t respond, and she thought perhaps he was  _ trying _ at least.

But then there was a  _ jolt _ inside her. Rey lost her focus and tumbled the few inches to the ground, landing hard on her bottom. Her eyes flew open, and she noticed Ben was sitting similarly, looking dazed and a little breathless.

Rey opened her mouth to speak, but Ben beat her to it. “Did you do that?”

She shook her head. “ _ No _ .” Ben pushed himself up quickly, looking around them, going so far as to turn completely in a circle to take in all their surroundings.

“What in all the hells,” he mumbled, as Rey stood up herself, dusting herself off. “It felt like something…”

“Tried to push through,” Rey finished, and Ben gave a nod. She frowned. She felt like she was tingling still, as if the shock had been pure Force. It didn’t  _ hurt _ , it just simply felt strange. She figured from the look on Ben’s face he could still feel the aftershocks as well. “Should we go inside?” Rey asked, glancing around herself. Yet, she didn’t feel like anyone was  _ there _ . At least, not at that exact moment.

Ben glanced around them again, before nodding. “Yes. Maybe we’re just… overtaxed.” It was a pathetic excuse, and Rey knew Ben didn’t believe it himself, but she didn’t argue. She had goosebumps on her arms now, and she just wanted to get out of the open.

**

The feeling didn’t fade, as the night went on- both Ben and Rey simply pushed the uneasiness aside, by sheer will. They ate, they sat in dim light and discussed Rey’s love of piloting, because touching on the Force and training would only bring them back to the odd sense of  _ supervision _ they seemed to have, now.

They made love, when sleep eluded them- Rey, climbing into Ben’s lap and kissing him, taking his hands and placing them where she wished them most.

And when sleep did finally take them, it was in a tangled mess, clutching at each other.

That was how Ben found himself, when he was jarred awake. He gasped a breath, feeling as if he had heard something,  _ seen something _ , in his dreams, and yet the moment his consciousness overtook him it was simply  _ gone _ .

He glanced around, but what he could see of the dark room was empty. Against his back, Rey was sleeping, her arm over his waist. He reached for it, gently lifted her arm and freed himself of her hold, managing to slip out from the blanket and stand. Rey grumbled in her sleep, stretched into the spot he had taken up, but didn’t wake.

Ben dressed  _ properly _ this time, then nearly ran through the house and back outside.  _ Why  _ he was being pulled this way he wasn’t sure- he only knew that whatever he had seen the night before, he hadn’t imagined. And this felt like the same eyes, the same presence and consciousness.

His pace slowed to a brisk walk, as he looped around outside, up along the plains and gentle slopes. The house was always within sight, so he was never far, but he felt  _ lost _ with the way he kept turning. He swore as the wind blew there was a voice, his name and words he couldn’t understand, constantly swarming around him.

He spun in a full circle, feeling dizzy, before he fell down to one knee. He reached for the ground to brace himself, glancing up and swearing his vision was swimming.

There was someone there again. Shimmering as if made of sparks, this electric blue that reminded him of long gone sabers. She flickered, but he could make out her general form. She moved closer, a few steps, before reaching out a hand, towards Ben.

Ben stared at the shape as it faded into almost nothing, before pulsing back- but before he could move, he heard his name, this time clear as his heartbeat.

“Ben?”

He glanced over his shoulder, and there was Rey, paces back. She had thrown on  _ his _ robe, but was barefoot and otherwise undressed, one hand clenched around something at her side. She was motionless for a moment, until her eyes jumped to the flickering presence in front of Ben. The moment she saw it, Ben heard the  _ hum _ of her saber, saw its color seem to bloom like a golden wound in the night next to her.

She stalked over, eyes  _ hard _ , free hair whipping around her as the wind picked up. She was terrifying and beautiful, and Ben knew possibly the most fearsome force in the entire galaxy.

And it was because she thought  _ he _ was in danger.

He took his eyes off her, turned back to the figure, and forced himself to stand. By the time he did, Rey was at his side, lightsaber poised and ready, as the figure began to fade.

He reached out, not to this stranger but to Rey, gently put his hand on her wrist. She tightened her hold on her lightsaber, but glanced at him- and Ben shook his head.

Something here wasn’t  _ threatening _ .

Rey hesitated, before she lowered her saber. Ben tried to study the figure, before he heard it again, louder now- loud enough that he felt Rey perk up as well.

_ Ben _ .

That  _ voice _ …

“I remember you,” he said, the memories finally connecting. “You were  _ there _ . I heard your voice.”

“Ben…?” It was Rey, glancing at him, then at the manifestation- Ben couldn’t  _ think _ of this woman as anything else.

“She spoke to me, when I was…  _ gone _ .” Dead. Swallowed up by the Force. Ceasing to exist completely, outside of a stream of consciousness.

Rey frowned- but the hum of her lightsaber died, and the glow faded. When it did, the figure took more shape, the outline of eyes and thick, long curls. The curves of shoulders-

Ben felt his heart stop, in his chest. His hand went from touching Rey’s wrist to grasping it, needing to hold onto something.

This woman…

“ _ Padmé _ .” The manifestation shifted, as if her head had lifted, and she had looked directly at him. Ben heard something  _ thump _ against the ground, and would realize later it was Rey’s lightsaber.

Before either Ben or Rey could say more, Padmé pointed passed them- not at the home that had once been hers, but seemed to gesture at the whole of it. Ben stared out at Naboo for a moment, before turning back, catching Padmé shimmering as she faded away.

“Wait!” he started, but it was too late. There was nothing but empty night air around them. Ben stared at the space Padmé had taken up, as the wind picked up, feeling chilled. Next to him, Rey shivered.

“Ben,” she finally said, “I think we need to go inside.” As she said it, a rumble of thunder echoed around them. Ben glanced up, noticed the stars being blotted out by heavy, black clouds. He nodded, as Rey bent down, picked up her saber, and took his hand, guiding him back towards the house.

They ducked inside just as the rain began- heavy, thick droplets that pelted the roof above them. Ben folded his arms, trying to shrink into himself, feeling freezing suddenly, as Rey moved further into the room, pacing about. She was still holding her saber.

“Okay,” she said, “Okay,  _ okay _ . Are we going mad?” She glanced over at Ben, who was quiet for a moment, unsure exactly how to answer. Because Padmé was long  _ dead _ , and had no tie herself to the Force. She couldn’t  _ reside _ in it, like Jedi long gone-

Right?

But then, the idea of a  _ ghost _ -

“Ben.” Rey spoke firmer, and Ben jerked his head up, glanced at her. Her eyes softened, and she walked over, tossing her saber aside on one of the plush chairs and reaching for his arms, rubbing his biceps. “You’re  _ freezing _ . How long were you out there?”

Ben didn’t know. Time had seemed to melt away, and he hadn’t  _ noticed _ that it was as chilled as it had been. That rain was coming.

Rey was frowning, and Ben unfolded his arms, let her take his hand and tangle their fingers together. He squeezed gently.

“I don’t think we’re going mad,” he finally said. Rey bit her lip, thinking for a moment.

“But  _ how _ , then?” Ben shrugged a shoulder.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I honestly  _ don’t know _ .”

**

Rey sat on the floor, legs folded, watching as Ben paced around the room. They had fallen into silence for a bit, both seeming to try and piece together their thoughts.

Rey  _ knew _ that Force sensitives could reside in the Force after death. She knew the Jedi were there, though they really weren’t the  _ talkative _ type, to her. She’d  _ seen _ both Luke and Leia, briefly- shimmering in the sky, when she had taken their family name.

But Ben was right- Padmé hadn’t been a Force user. It just didn’t make  _ sense _ .

Rey sighed, reaching up to run her hands back through her free hair. She was tired, but at the same time was sure if she tried to sleep, she would stare at a ceiling all night. And she could  _ feel _ the nervous energy radiating off Ben- there was no way he was sleeping anytime soon.

So, best make  _ use _ of the time.

“Let’s talk it through,” Rey said, “Are we even  _ sure _ that was your grandmother?”

Ben paused, glanced not at Rey but past her, to the large window that showed the night outside, the rain pouring down. It seemed to echo around them.

“You’ve never met her,” Rey pointed out, “and we just have that  _ one _ portrait.”

“It was her.” Ben glanced back at Rey, his eyes serious. “It  _ had _ to be.”

“She was just a... _ shimmer _ .”

“She held herself just like my mother.” Rey pressed her lips shut at that, didn’t have an argument. There had been something familiar about the shade- not as if Rey knew  _ her _ , but someone like her.

And Leia fit that ideal.

“It’s a stretch,” Rey said, and for a moment she thought she saw Ben’s eyes  _ crack _ . “But,” she added quickly, “I’m not saying I don’t believe you. If you’re convinced, then I trust you.”

Ben stared at her for a moment, before asking, very softly, “Really?”

Rey nodded, unfolding and slowly standing up. “Of course,” she said, “I trust you in _ everything _ . If you feel confident, then I’ll defer to your judgement.” She paused, then added, “I know if we were reversed, you would trust me.”

Ben nodded quickly, and Rey walked over, wrapping her arms around one of his and leaning into him.

“So then, if this is your grandmother,” she said, “ _ why _ ?”

Ben shook his head, just as lost as she was. He slid his arm out from her hold, only to wrap it around her waist, pull her closer. Rey leaned into him,  _ knowing _ that even if she was being held, Ben was the one seeking comfort.

“It was her, before as well,” he finally said, after minutes dragged by. Rey hummed, didn’t look up, and Ben continued, watching the rain outside. “When I was dead.” Rey tensed, and Ben’s arm tightened around her. “That voice, it was the  _ same _ . I remember hearing her, feeling her.” He leaned down, kissed the top of Rey’s head. “Rey, I think she was the one who sent me back.”

Rey forced herself free of his arms- which wasn’t something that was particularly  _ enjoyable _ , as she never really wanted to leave- so she could stare up at him, lock eyes. “Really?”

Ben nodded. “I can’t  _ fathom _ why else I’m here. You can’t deny it- I was dead. I was… alright with that.” He sighed, shook his head. “And I was just a part of…  _ everything _ . But I remember her voice, the feeling of her presence and it’s the  _ last _ thing I remember, before waking up on Tatooine.”

Rey nodded. “And it would make sense she’d send you there- your grandfather was from Tatooine, right?” Ben nodded. “Okay. So Padmé is in the Force. She  _ released _ you from it. And she’s still… lingering.”

“She wants something,” Ben said, “but I don’t know what.”

Rey clicked her tongue, turning away to pace herself. It seemed that was something they both had in common- the inability to stay  _ still _ while thinking.

Rey paused when there was a loud crash of thunder outside. It jarred her, and she glanced out the window, watching lightning light the sky. It seemed to radiate over the land, envelope it before dissipating-

Like it was being held, wrapped up like a present.

“Ben,” she said, softly. He must have responded, even though Rey was so focused, watching outside, that she barely heard him. She continued after a few long beats of silence. “Ben, she wanted you here.”

“What do you mean?” he had walked over to her, was following her gaze outside. The storm was ragging, miserable and beautiful, all at once.

“Think about it,” Rey said, “this is where she has the strongest tie. And what are the  _ odds _ we end up back on her home planet? In her  _ home _ ?” She glanced over at him. “There’s something she wants from you, here. We just have to find out what.”

Ben nodded, gave silent agreement that the idea made  _ sense _ . “I don’t know what good I could possibly do here,” he admitted. Rey reached for his hand and took it, squeezing gently.

“Plenty,” she said, “we just have to believe we’ll know  _ exactly _ what soon. But standing here won’t help…” She took a step backwards, pulling at Ben’s arm gently. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Rey couldn’t deny this was  _ jarring _ , but it didn’t feel  _ wrong _ for the former Queen to have her hand in this, their life, their  _ fate _ . And while Rey had been unnerved at first, she was falling back into calm. Padmé meant them no harm, she was sure. And Rey trusted if she had given Ben back to her and the galaxy, it was for a  _ reason _ .

But there was no way they were going to decipher that reason within the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday folks! Thanks for reading!


	8. The World Was on Fire (And No One Could Save Me, But You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have words for the fact that i let this last chapter sit, mostly finished, for so long. A lot happened with my job, and i didn't get to finish before the crazy hit... and then Covid.
> 
> i'm sorry. i don't like to leave things unfinished, however.

Rey woke to footsteps. Soft, a gentle swish of fabric accompanying them. She sat up quickly, ready to jump from the bed, when a familiar face appeared in the open doorway.

Kalin smiled at her, lifting a finger to hush her from making too much noise. Rey stared at her for a moment, feeling a bit sluggish from sleep- and then realized the blanket was pooled around her waist, and that she had  _ most definitely _ ended up naked in bed again.

She huffed, grabbed it and yanked it up- more in frustration than any sort of embarrassment. Kalin was covering her mouth, giggling, before she motioned to Rey with her other hand to come out. The young queen turned and walked away, gave Rey the privacy to get up and begin piecing her clothes together.

She was only dressed from the waist down when Ben rolled over, blinking his eyes open and taking her in slowly. Before he could try to convince her to come back to bed- because Rey knew it wouldn’t take  _ much _ \- she said, “Kalin’s here.”

Ben reached up, rubbed a hand over his face, and then sat up. She slipped her shirt on, adjusting it as she walked over, kissed his temple.

“Get dressed and come downstairs,” she said, and Ben just nodded. Rey turned and left, before she could find herself distracted by him in anyway.

Downstairs, she found Kalin was standing by the same window she and Ben had gazed out the night before, at the storm. The day was sunny, but it was evident that the rain had only recently stopped- everything glistened.

“I hope I did not  _ interrupt _ ,” Kalin said, glancing over and Rey and smiling. Rey rolled her eyes, but walked over to the young woman who she could only think of as a  _ friend _ now.

“Only my dreams,” Rey said. “Your talk with the Gungens went well?”

“Oh, yes, that and everything else.” Kalin shrugged a shoulder, before leaning slightly into Rey’s space, asking in a more teasing tone, “I assume your  _ endeavors _ are going well?”

Rey huffed, but couldn’t keep from laughing. Kalin joined her, smiling brightly, reaching over and gripping her shoulder affectionately.

“What did I miss?”

Rey tried to stifle the laugh, turned with the young queen towards Ben’s voice. He’d dressed quickly, but seemed alert and completely put together. Rey kept her smile, and Kalin full on grinned.

“Just discussing my desert friend’s best interests,” Kalin said, leaving Rey and heading for Ben. “But I am so glad you’ve joined us- we have things to discuss.”

She took Ben’s arm, looking regal despite her small stature. She glanced back at Rey and nodded, silently coaxing her to join them. Rey caught up to them as Kalin led them outside, taking up her pace at the queen’s other side.

“I have a request of you,” Kalin said, as they all stepped into the warm sun. Rey glanced around, saw a much smaller ship than Kalin had last left in. She could see a pilot inside, but there was a distinct  _ lack _ of any other staff- mainly, guards.

It warmed Rey, to be that trusted- to know  _ Ben _ was that trusted, despite all he had done.

“Whatever it is,” Rey said, still not facing them, “I’m sure we’d be happy to help.” She meant it- she truly liked this young queen, who had been nothing but kind to them.

Kalin smiled, as Ben nodded his agreement. “Never agree until you hear someone’s request,” she teased, before glancing up at Ben. “It is your answer I will need,  _ Ben Solo _ .”

Rey glanced back at them, noticed that Ben had gone a little tense. “What do you need of me?” he asked. “You’ve been… far too kind to me, so far. Whatever it is, consider it done.”

Rey smiled. There was, in that moment, not even the faintest trace of  _ Kylo Ren _ , in this man.

“I want you to serve Naboo, as ambassador.” Kalin spoke it without preamble, and Rey’s eyes widened- watched as the shock came over Ben’s face. “I have been thinking, about the war being over, about what your friends,” Kalin paused, turned to glance at Rey, “at the Resistance want to do for the galaxy- and want from  _ us _ . And I am one woman.” She let go of Ben’s arm, taking a step away to turn and properly look at them both. “My planet needs me, as it has always needed the reigning queen or king. But they need something more as well.” She turned her gaze back to Ben. “I want you to go to the Resistance- and  _ anywhere _ in the galaxy- with Naboo’s best interests at heart.”

Both Ben and Rey simply stared at Kalin. Then, after a long moment, Ben swallowed, before he said, voice nearly breaking, “You  _ cannot _ mean that.”

Kalin frowned. “You think I jest?”

“I don’t mean to offend,” Ben added, “but I… you  _ know _ who I am. Who I was.”

The queen nodded.

“I do.”

“And yet you want  _ me _ to have a say in… politics?” Ben almost grimaced- and Rey couldn’t argue that reaction. It was the same she had everytime Poe tried to goad her into politics.

“Yes.” Kalin folded her arms. “I  _ do _ . You are a redemption that embodies my planet. You want to be forgiven for what you’ve done? Do  _ something _ than.” She said it sternly, but not unkindly. Rey glanced at Ben- but he didn’t seem upset.

He was listening.

“Your grandmother was one of our most beloved queens. She served us in the Senate. We loved her  _ so much _ we offered to  _ give _ her full reign, for her life and the rest of her bloodline. And your grandmother  _ declined _ .” Kalin walked back over to Ben, reached up to grip his arms gently. Rey was struck by how  _ small _ the girl was, yet how she seemed to not even notice. “Naboo needs a Naberrie again. Naboo needs  _ you _ .”

Ben stared at her, at a loss for words. Rey could feel his confusion, swarming inside her as well. He was a tumult of emotions, and she was feeling the shadow of each one.

“Think about it,” Kalin said. “ _ Please _ . If not for yourself, then for me, as a friend. For this planet that your grandmother loved so. Think about all you could do, for us- think about what this could mean, if the Senate was ever revived.”

She squeezed his arms, before letting go, turning and walking to Rey. She reached out, took one of Rey’s hands. “Be his reason, Rey of Jakku,” she said. “Be his  _ light _ .”

Rey could only nod. Kalin gave the smallest of smiles, before she pulled away, walking from them both. “When you have an answer,” she called back, not once stopping, “come back to me at the capital.”

With that, she paused outside her ship. A small cargo door was opened, and she glided up, disappearing against the sun, just as quickly as she had first come.

**

Ben and Rey watched the ship leave, disappear into the calm, bright sky. Once it had, they stood in silence that seemed to stretch endlessly.

Until Ben finally flopped down, gracelessly, to the ground, folding up and resting his head in his hands. His temples ached, it felt as if his skull was far too small to hold all of the thoughts he was having, in pure reaction to this.

How could Kalin  _ trust _ him with this? How could she want the man who almost destroyed the entire galaxy to have a hand in the protection of her planet?

It was a spiral he could fall down easily. The self doubt wasn’t new- it had been there, since he was a child, in everything he did. The fact that the darkside had an appeal as a way to over compensate for the self doubt was not a new thought to Ben.

He heard Rey settle down as well, and when he lifted his head, she was sitting opposite him, legs folded, almost as if she was about to mediate. She wasn’t smiling, but she looked calm.

“Let’s talk,” she said, and Ben wanted to ask  _ about what _ because he wasn’t sure what could even be  _ said _ about this ludacris idea- but he held his tongue. Rey wanted to  _ help _ and he didn’t need to let his own self loathing out on anyone else- he needed to work on that.  _ Control _ .

“Okay,” he said, instead, and watched as Rey exhaled slowly.

“I can feel you,” she said, reaching up, placing a hand at her core, the hollow of her ribs. “ _ Here _ . You’re thinking too many things at once-  _ feeling _ too many things. Talk me through each one.”

Ben nodded, swallowed- and took a slow, deep breath, trying to center himself. It gave him a few moments to try and collect his thoughts. And then he said something he should have said, many more times in his life, instead of hiding the emotion in  _ anger _ .

“I’m scared.”

Rey nodded. Her hands folded in her lap. She didn’t ask questions, but her eyes were enough- she was giving him the chance to elaborate, and  _ hoping _ he would.

“Look what I’ve done,” Ben said, “look what I  _ almost _ did. If it hadn’t been for you…” he trailed off, swallowed, clenched his fits and dug his nails into his own palms. “If not for you, I would have destoryed the fucking  _ galaxy _ .”

“I didn’t do all the work,” Rey pointed out, still calm. “You  _ chose _ me, and the changes I had to offer. You could have not.”

“Still…” Ben closed his eyes for a moment, trying to take time to sort out each thought. “I would be lost without you.”

“Do you think I wouldn’t be there?”

Ben paused- he hadn’t really consciously  _ thought _ about that. But… he knew Rey didn’t  _ love _ politics- she would fight for a cause gladly, but being in the actual legislative process was exactly where she  _ didn’t _ want to be.

So, maybe a part of him had considered she wouldn’t be there.

“Ben,” she said, softly, her eyes turning to warm velvet, her lips curling into a small smile. “I chose you. I’m not going anywhere.” She paused, reached out and offered her hand. Ben took it, watched her thumb trace over his knuckles. “I love you,” she said, sounding so sure of herself, as if she had known it since the day she was born. “I will always be here to be your balance- and you will be here to be mine.”

Ben gripped her hand tighter, his throat feeling too tight. He couldn’t  _ speak _ , even though he wanted to shout every possible affection to her. He couldn’t move, but he wanted to throw his arms around her. All he could do was look at her, and see her smile grow, because she was  _ feeling _ the shades of his emotions, through their bond.

“The fact that you’re having these fears,” Rey pointed out, “means you are considering this- you  _ want _ it. Think about that.” She took her hand back, stood up slowly. Ben watched her block out the sun, seem to take over his entire field of view. “And when you’re done, talk to me again.”

Ben nodded, slowly. Rey gave him a final smile, before she walked past him, heading back towards the house.

Ben let her go, remained sitting, letting the sun seep back into him and warm him up. His heart was thudding in his chest, and he reached up, clutched at his shirt, could feel it’s beat.

Rey was  _ right _ . He was scared because he was  _ considering _ this. He just needed to think through each fear, each trepidation, and reason them out.

She had alleviated his top fear though- she would be  _ there _ , and if anyone could ensure he made the right choice, it was Rey.

**

Rey spent the day in meditation. She wanted to be available, if Ben needed to talk- but she wanted to ensure he had his space as well.

She didn’t see much of him, after their talk that morning. He disappeared, and Rey let herself  _ not worry _ . Instead she found her inner calm, and simply  _ existed _ .

It was something she still wasn’t great at, especially for long periods of time. But she needed it, she knew- Ben wasn’t the only one who had to make choices.

She still grappled with what to  _ do _ with herself, now that the war was over. With what she  _ was _ \- a Jedi, but something  _ more _ . At least, she wanted to be more.

She knew now she would never be able to lock her emotions away- her affections for her friends, her deep seated love for Ben, none of it was going to disappear. Nor did she want it to. But her tie to the Force was strong, it coursed through her as much as her own blood. She had to reconcile, to find the  _ middle ground _ .

But this also opened up a new door, holding back endless questions. Was she alone? Were she and Ben really the  _ end _ ? How, when it didn’t seem a connection to the Force had to be genetic? And if she wasn’t alone- who else out there was struggling, just like she had? Like Ben?

Did that mean there was someone else, tipping over that line, about to make a decision that could change fate and end the peace they had all fought so long for?

And, more importantly- should she even  _ care _ ? Hadn’t she done her part, and  _ then some _ , sacrificed so much for the Resistance, for the galaxy? Shouldn’t she be allowed to fade away, if that was what she desired?

Because, if Rey was honest, that  _ was _ what a part of her wanted. To settle herself away on a planet-  _ anywhere _ \- and live out her days honing herself just to know that she  _ could _ . To build in the day and pilot through the night sky on rigs she herself modified, poured her soul and time and blood into.

But at the same time, that felt  _ empty _ . She wanted it, she did,  _ so badly _ \- but she wanted  _ more _ of herself, as well. She couldn’t deny that she did feel responsible to the galaxy. That she had an obligation to help and continue to do so, so long as she breathed.

By the time night fell, Rey had more questions than answers, but she didn’t feel overwhelmed. She had options, and options had never been a luxury before for her. To choose- it meant she finally had her own power, had stepped out of the shadow of the girl once living and hiding in the sands of Jakku.

She had barely moved, from her spot outside. The sun had set, and she had been lost in thoughts and simply  _ existing _ . It was only when she  _ felt _ Ben suddenly close that she emerged from herself. Across the horizon, she could see him walking back, over the low plains and rolling hills, set against the sunset.

She smiled to herself, and simply watched. 

When he was finally only a few paces away, he paused and eyed her. “You haven’t moved,” he said, not exactly shocked- more an observation than anything else.

Rey nodded. “I had some thinking to do.” She studied him, hair slightly tussled from the wind. “I imagine you did the same.”

He nodded. He bent over, extended his hand, and Rey took it, allowed him to pull her up. She let the motion continue, until she was pulled directly into his embrace, happy to wrap her arms around his neck and welcome him back with a kiss to his jawline.

He smelled like the grass, like warm sun and some sort of flower- Rey wasn’t even going to pretend to know the foliage of Naboo. She turned and nuzzled into him, on her tiptoes, and Ben got both arms around her, simply held on. The embrace was calming, and Rey was content to let it go until the sun rose again.

Ben eased back first, taking her hand, and guided her inside. His fingers were laced with hers, and Rey kept glancing at their hands, thinking their fingers fit together perfectly.

“Thank you,” he said, pausing part way inside. “For calming me down, earlier. I… was able to think because of it.”

Rey smiled. “Good. Willing to share?”

Ben hummed, as if he was thinking on it, before he gave her hand a squeeze. “Later. I want to do something for you.” Rey quirked a brow, was going to ask him  _ what _ \- and more importantly,  _ why _ \- before Ben leaned in, kissed her temple, and simply said, “Wait here.”

He was gone before she could get any response out, heading upstairs and leaving her alone. Rey sighed, but didn’t follow him. She made her way to the kitchen instead, grabbing another piece of fruit and contenting herself eating it while she once again browsed Padmé’s collection of books.

She had one in her hands, was just opening it, when Ben came back down, some time later. He walked right over to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and settled his chin on her shoulder, glancing down at the book.

“Am I going to read you a bedtime story again?” he teased, and Rey only grinned.

“Yes.” She heard him chuckle- felt it rumble from his chest pressed against her, and giggled herself. Ben let go of her and took the book, closing it but holding on.

“Come with me,” he said, taking her hand. Rey followed back upstairs, passed their bedroom, and continued down the hallway. Ben paused outside one of the doors, before he toed it open, guiding her inside.

It was what Rey assumed was the main bathroom of the home. She honestly hadn’t explored as much as time should have allowed- she found a little bathroom with a shower and was  _ content _ .

The room was spacious, with large windows lining a wall and opening up to the scenery outside. In front of that was a large tub, filled already. Rey quirked a brow, took a step to reach Ben’s side and tried to catch his eyes. He glanced away quickly, he cheeks  _ very _ pink.

“Is this for me?” she asked, trying not to grin but very quickly failing.

“I thought it would be relaxing.” Ben let go of her hand, reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, seeming  _ awkward _ in his own skin. “If I was wrong-”

“Stop.” Rey walked further into the room, towards the tub. As she approached she could smell something woody and sweet, and realized there was  _ oil _ in the water. She turned and smiled at Ben. “This is wonderful.”

He visibly relaxed, and Rey couldn’t help but love this nervous part of him. That he was guessing and  _ hoping _ at what she would want without experience- it was endearing.

“If you need anything,” Ben began, taking a step backwards, “just… call.”

Rey frowned at that. “You’re leaving?” Ben nodded, and Rey sighed, reaching up and rubbing at the crook of her neck- effectively, and  _ purposefully _ pushing her shirt off the curve of her shoulder. “Why?” Ben didn’t seem to have an answer, and Rey worked at the ties around her shirt, before casually pulling the whole thing off over her head and dropping it to the floor. “You should join me.”

It wasn’t a wild request- Rey was sure that tub could fit two  _ easily _ . And while the idea was thoughtful and  _ relaxing _ , Rey preferred the idea of having some company.

“I…” Ben started, before trailing off, and Rey laughed. She turned away and hooked her fingers in her pants, bending over and slipping out of the rest of her clothing and her boots. She heard Ben exhale.

“Speechless? Really?” She teased, glancing over her shoulder. “You’ve seen me naked before.”

This sort of teasing felt wild and yet so  _ easy _ for Rey. So  _ good _ . She forced herself to turn back to the tub, and step one foot in. The water was warm, almost  _ hot _ , but in the most pleasing way. She sighed, reaching across the tub and grasping the edge, stepping the rest of the way in and settling down.

She glanced back at Ben, who hadn’t moved at all. She laughed- she couldn’t help herself.

“Come here you,” she said, one hand gliding along the water and making it ripple. “I want you to.”

Ben gave a slow nod, setting the book he was  _ still _ holding aside, and walking closer. Rey forced herself to look away as he began to undress- mostly for Ben’s own sanity, as she was sure his cheeks would go pink again and he wouldn’t be able to hold her gaze. She instead looked out the windows, eyes tracing the shapes the stars seemed to make in the sky. Only when she felt the water sloshing, did she glance back, as Ben settled in opposite her.

She grinned at him, pushed at his leg with her foot, and got a smile in return. The flush on his cheeks was tinting his neck even, but he seemed to be relaxing a little.

“So, talk to me,” Rey said, settling her arms up on the sides of the tub.

“ _ Now _ ?” Ben asked, and Rey quirked a brow.

“You’d best learn how to talk to me naked,  _ Ben Solo _ .” She poked at him with her foot again. He scuffed playfully, reaching under the water and grabbing her ankle, tugging her down a few inches. She gave a startled squeak of a laugh, and he positively  _ grinned _ .

“Does that mean you’re going to be naked more?”

“ _ Possibly _ .” He let go of her ankle and she sat up properly again. “Now, talk to me.”

Ben settled his own arms on the edge of the tub, dropping his head back. Rey told herself  _ not _ to get distracted by the expanse of his throat, or the breadth of his shoulders-

But that was very,  _ very _ difficult.

Finally, he sighed, but didn’t lift his head. “You were right,” he said, “I’m scared because the idea appeals to me.”

Rey nodded, but didn’t speak. Eventually Ben lifted his head, finding her gaze.

“But I’m torn as to  _ why _ it appeals to me. Am I just drawn to the idea of being in power again?” He tapped his fingers along the tub. “Or do I actually want to try and do  _ something _ with myself?”

“The fact that you’re questioning your motives alone tells me you don’t have bad intentions.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“No,” Rey disagreed, “I have the  _ perfect _ amount of faith in you. Besides, you came here to try and discover the soul of your grandmother- what better way than to follow in her footsteps? There’s no senate-  _ yet _ \- but you can still serve the planet.”

“You want me to do this,” Ben mused, and Rey shrugged a bare shoulder.

“I want you to be happy. And I know to be happy, you have to make steps to forgive yourself, so that  _ others _ can forgive you. I think this would be a good step. Besides,” she paused, giving a sly smile, “maybe I like the idea of you being dressed up and  _ regal _ looking.”

Ben snorted a laugh, shaking his head. “You  _ did _ mention growing my hair would make me regal. What are you fantasizing, my little scavenger?”

Rey’s smile turned to a grin. She moved, sloshing a bit of water around, until she was straddling Ben, weight settled on his thighs.

“Nothing yet,” she whispered, getting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing. “But I  _ could _ be, if you wanted that.”

Ben hummed, leaned forward and pressed his mouth to her throat. Rey tipped her head back, felt his teeth just graze her warm skin, and sighed.

“I assume that’s a yes,” she whispered, and felt his hands go to her waist, grip the damp skin tightly. She shivered, before tipping her head down, seeking his mouth out and kissing him wantonly. He responded in kind, happy to follow her lead and eager to  _ please _ , his hands stroking up from her waist to her ribs, until one hand cupped her breast, kneading it before teasing her nipple.

Rey gasped, squirming around, nipping at Ben’s lips and relishing the way he’d lose his breath for her. She was hot under her skin, feeling like static rushed through her veins instead of blood.

She wasn’t sure she would ever be accustomed to the way he could instantly make her  _ want _ .

She broke the kiss and dipped her head down, biting at his neck, making him groan. Her teeth dragged along his pulse, before she got his shoulder- hard enough to leave little indents in his skin.

Ben  _ whimpered _ , but she could feel him, his cock swelling and gently bumping against her. She knew he  _ liked _ it.

She reached down, wrapped one hand around him and stroked, very slowly. His whimper turned to a low groan, and she bent lower, kissed his chest, before she flicked her tongue against his nipple. He shuddered- a little more  _ reactive _ than she expected, but she was oh-so  _ pleased _ about that. She sucked gently, heard him gasp out her name, felt his hands going to her hips, her thighs, scrambling to try and touch her.

She lifted her head, just to get jerked against him. Chest to chest, the water sloshed around them, and he kissed her ravenously. She squirmed, felt one of his hands between her thighs, rubbing against her lips. She sighed, barely having a rhythm to her strokes, and losing it completely when he slipped past her lips, fingertips finding her clit and rubbing in gentle circles over it.

She shuddered, broke the kiss to pant, and Ben  _ grinned _ . She let go of him, only to reach up and grasp at his shoulders, holding on as he carefully- and yet so  _ wonderfully _ \- brought her higher and higher.

“ _ Ben _ ,” she gasped, tipping her head down to hide in his hair. His other arm wound around her waist, held her close- and she clutched onto him, as the minutes dragged and yet  _ rushed _ in this perfect bliss. Until Rey was shaking, crying out in an orgasm that wracked her so sweetly.

He’d barely pulled his hand from her when she was lifting her head, still feeling the waves ebbing. Yet she reached down, grasped him- and he must have read the look in her eyes. He said her name, as if to tell her to  _ slow down _ , but Rey was too far gone to  _ want that _ .

He was just trying to be  _ gentle _ with her, and oh, she could appreciate that. But Rey didn’t  _ need _ it.

She lifted herself up, grasped his shoulder with her other hand, and eased down on his cock slowly. Ben groaned, forced himself to remain still, until she was nestled perfectly in his lap. Only when she wrapped both her arms around his neck, only when she kissed him desperately,  _ only _ when she lifted herself first, did he grasp her hips, help guide her in riding him.

Rey felt beyond heavenly, swimming in what felt like the edges of her first orgasm still. Ben’s mouth was a perfect heat, sharp and yet soft in all the right ways. His hands guided her, helped alleviate the burn from her thighs with each lift of her body.

She wasn’t aware of the water sloshing around them, splashing out of the tub. She wasn’t aware of the water droplets on her back cooling, of the wet tips of her hair sticking to her shoulders. All she knew was that Ben was inside her again, falling apart for her just as she was coming undone at the seams.

“Rey,” he managed, his hold on her tightening. “Slow- down.” he gasped, but  _ fuck _ she didn’t want to. She was so  _ close _ already-

But the way he squeezed her hips, held her down- it broke the fever need fogging up her mind. She stopped, whining a little as she did so, watched him tip his head back and groan, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Ben,” she whispered, and he just shook his head, lifting it back up.

“You’re going to kill me,” he whispered, leaning in and kissing the corner of her mouth. “I can’t come until you do again, darling.”

Rey gave a little  _ oh _ , hadn’t realized that she had worked him up so easily. She tried to relax, but the sensation of having him inside of her drove her utterly  _ mad _ , made her feel insatiable.

She must have squirmed, because Ben reached down, pressed his fingers to her clit, and made her  _ gasp _ . She trembled as he teased her, made her tighten around him- and then made  _ him _ groan.

“ _ Dammit _ ,” he cursed, breaths coming faster now. Rey reached down, pressed her hand over his, forced his fingers harder against her.

“Like that,” she said, guiding his movements- not far from what he was doing, but  _ exactly _ the way she would touch herself. Ben followed, and Rey moaned, breaths coming in quick little sighs. She rolled her hips once, and Ben growled- but Rey was beyond listening now.

She continued to roll her hips, not lifting herself to ride him but sliding back  _ just _ enough to get the sweet sort of friction inside her. She was shaking and feeling so  _ close _ when Ben suddenly  _ stopped _ . She whined, but his hands both moved to her hips, grasping and  _ lifting _ her, before pulling her back down onto him again.

Rey tossed her head back, urging Ben on. Pleading with him to make her come again- for  _ him _ to come.

It was the way he said her name that finally sent her back over the edge. Each downward thrust had her getting  _ just _ enough friction against him- but it was the broken moan, her name as Ben’s voice  _ cracked _ , that had Rey groaning and tossing her head back, arching as she came.

She held onto his shoulders, could feel him thrusting up into her, stretching her orgasm out until she swore she was seeing the stars from the sky falling down, into her vision.

She slumped forward, grasped Ben’s shoulders for support. Despite feeling as if she had melted within her skin, she tried to match his pace, feeling her thighs burning in such a gratifying way. She watched Ben tip his head back, eyes squeezing shut and mouth falling open as his hips stuttered in their movements. Rey smiled, coaxed him on in a voice that was broken, riding him until his hands tightened on her hips and forced her to  _ stop _ .

Rey listened, settled back into his lap, panting. When Ben lifted his head, Rey smiled at him, watched the smile reflect on his face.

Wordlessly, she kissed him. She didn’t feel she needed to  _ say _ much of anything. He made her ascend her very body to a whole new world of bliss- and she was fairly sure she did the same for him.

**

Ben woke, the following morning, after a night of restful sleep.  _ Silent _ sleep. No ghostly whispers of his name, no feeling of eyes watching him that drove him to wakefulness.

Nothing, and then the sun streaming in through the windows in plesant, warm ribbons.

He sighed, felt Rey clutch at him tighter, her face nuzzled in between his shoulder blades. He smiled to himself, staring across the room out the window, catching glimpses of the world outside.

Beautiful.  _ Calm _ . Something he never expected to have, in all these years.

Rey had been right, the night before. He was terrified because he was considering what Kalin had offered- perhaps more so, now that he had gotten confirmation from her that she would remain with him. That he wouldn’t be alone.

He wanted it. He didn’t want to lie to Rey, or himself. He wanted the chance to prove to not just himself, but to the  _ galaxy _ , that there was more to him than a broken, petluant, overgrown child. He wanted to be more than he was, in that moment, and every moment leading up to it.

He felt Rey’s hand press to his bare ribs, tracing down in feather light touches along his abdomen. He smiled to himself, asked quietly, “are you awake?”

“Mm, barely.” She leaned back, so Ben could push himself up, out of her grasp. He sat back in the pillows, and Rey followed, blanket held up to her as if she was clinging to its warmth, and not its coverage. Her hair was wild around her face, but it was so  _ endearing _ to see her like this, when Ben was normally the one waking second. “You look far too awake,” she mused, and Ben shrugged a shoulder.

“Quiet night.” Rey nodded, before raising a brow in silent question. “No ghostly visitors,” he pointed out, and she nodded.

“Must mean your grandmother feels her job is done.”   
  


Ben gave Rey a querstioning look, and she reached up with her free hand, attempting to fingercomb her hair. “Think about it,” she said, “you’re convinced it was her, when you were… dead, right?” Ben nodded, could see in the subtle wince that Rey still hated admitting he had ever been gone. “So she pushes you out of the Force. And you end up on Naboo,  _ her _ planet. With a queen who finds you amusing and  _ charming _ , and is open enough to offer you a chance at having a hand in the future of the planet?” Rey paused, before emphasizing, “Again, the planet your grandmother  _ loved _ .”

“You’re claiming that a dead woman somehow- what,  _ foresaw _ that this would happen, and maniuplated fate in order to make sure it did?”

“I don’t know,” Rey admitted, “but I know this is more than a coincidence. I don’t know if we’ll ever fully understand- but you can’t deny, there has got to be a connection.”

And she was right- Ben couldn’t deny it. It was just… strange to think that so many people had faith in him- especially someone as great as Padmé, who had never known him.

“You’re right,” he said. “I guess I don’t have to understand it all. But it… makes sense.”

Rey nodded, before she reached out, settled her hand gently on his. “So, you’re going to do it?”

Ben hesitated for only a moment, a breath.

“Yes.”

She smiled, the brillance of it seeming to split her face. Ben melted for a moment, his chest flooding with a warmth that tingled down to his fingertips. Yes, he was sure he would do anything to make her smile like that.

He was lucky, he knew, as he was sure that doing anything  _ good _ would make her smile like that.

**

Rey flew them back to the capital later that day, to address Kalin’s request in person. The queen had been thrilled, although not shocked by Ben’s decision, Rey could tell.

She wanted to formally introduce him to the people of the capital, and had thus rushed the two away to have them formally dressed. Rey felt strange, waiting now in the large lobby of the capital building with a few of the queen’s guards, in such a vibrant red. Her tunic was split up to her hip, but fell to the floor, made her feel a sort of elegance she wasn’t used to.

She had fastened her saber to her side, and was absent mindedly touching it when Kalin appeared, walking over in sure strides.

“Tell me,” she said, never seeming to need to address who she was speaking to by name for them to know, “what color is your saber?”

Rey smiled, took a few steps away from the guards, and pulled it from her side. It hummed to life, the glistening gold radiating as she held it up. For a moment, Kalin looked enthralled- and Rey couldn’t blame her. Hadn’t she felt the same way, the first time she saw a lightsaber?

“The perfect color,” Kalin said, as Rey let the light die and settled it back at her hip. “Gold is a royal color here, an  _ accent _ to show how we as a people shine.”

“Must be fate I chose the color.”

Kalin nodded, before stepping closer, speaking quieter now. Somehow, it made Rey feel as if the rest of the room could just  _ disappear _ . “You once told me you were no Jedi, Rey of Jakku. Yet you stand with a saber, and I know the tales of your Force use are no lie. Tell me then, what are you?”

Rey paused for only a moment. One moment, to simply confirm everything she had come to terms with, over the past few days. “I’m something more,” she said. “The Jedi were flawed. I am not perfect, but I hope someday I will be able to take their teachings and expand on them, to create a… healthier teaching.”

Kalin hummed, glancing past Rey as footsteps signaled Ben joining them. “I have no doubts that you will be the best of us all,” she said, reaching out to take one of Rey’s hands. “Be the protector we all need- from my entire planet, down to a single, trembling soul.”

She let go at that, moving past Rey to greet Ben. Rey turned, took the time to enjoy the way Ben seemed to hold himself, dressed in black again, but his robe strewn with gorgeous reds and golds. He looked regal indeed.

He looked everybit the prince that Rey knew he could be-  _ would _ be.

**

The sky was lit a magnificent vermillion when Kalin stood, elevated above her people, arms wide and greeting them. Rey stood back with Ben, enthralled herself at the charisma of someone so young. 

Mre so at the adoration the people seemed to have for their monarchy.

Kalin talked of the war ending, of the defeat of the First Order, of the  _ future _ that could be built with the help of the Resistance. It was a speech Rey wished Poe could hear.

Thinking of her friend made her wonder, for just a brief moment, how she would ever explain how these events had turned out. And while the whole ordeal seemed overly fantastical, she had a feeling he would approve. After all- wasn’t she playing politics, just as he requested?

She felt Ben squeeze her hand, and tore herself from her thoughts, realized Kalin’s speech was changing. She had paused for an extensive moment, and the air was heavy suddenly, the anticipation static rising from her people.

“I have great faith in our friends, from the Resistance,” she finally said. “Such faith that I would entrust your safety to them. WIth this new world- this new  _ future _ , perhaps we can bring back some of the order of the old. And while I want to be a part of this- I am one woman, I know. I am your queen, and my time should belong to  _ you _ , first.” Another pause. “And that is why I have asked help of the Resistance, to take Naboo’s interests to heart with them as they travel. That is why I have decided to appoint an ambassador, to go where I cannot. To be another set of eyes and ears for us.”

She turned, looked back at Ben, who took a sgtep forward. Rey followed, her hand still clutched in his. She could feel a nervousness through the bond, but he held himself steady, hiding it well.

“Ben Solo, the most reformed of us all.” Kalin glanced back at her people. “I present proof that the First Order has fallen- their  _ supreme leader _ , Kylo Ren, here with the Resistance, here to mend a broken galaxy. Here to  _ change _ .”

The crowd rumbled, shock, but Rey was pleased to see, still remaining calm.

“Here to bring back the  _ Naberrie _ house- for he is the las bloodline to our beloved Amidala.”

At that, the crowd erupted in shock. Rey couldn’t help but smile, as they seemed eager over the news, as well.

“I have given my trust to Ben. And to my new friend,” she glanced at Rey, “Rey, the last Jedi- but more, the  _ balance _ and protector of our galaxy, and our future.”

This time, there were cheers. Rey wanted to bury her face in Ben’s shoulder, to hide from the attention, but she was so sure he wouldn’t have let her. She glanced up at him, but he was already looking at her, smiling.

“Know they’re cheering for you,” he pointed out, before leaning over, kissing her temple affectionately, for all the planet to see. “Know that the future wouldn’t exist, without you.”

“Your future, or the galaxy’s?”

It was meant to be a jest, but Ben only smiled, turning to face her properly and reaching up to tip her chin up.

“Both,” he said. Rey smiled herself, and leaned up, kissed him sweetly.

_ Let them be intertwined _ , Rey thought.  _ I would fight for them both, endlessly. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had originally thought to extend the ending only slightly past this, but decided against it. i know it took an ungodly amount of time to get this last chapter up, but I like the idea of leaving myself plenty of space to play around with this verse, should I feel we need follow up.
> 
> To anyone who came back to finish up, thanks so much for seeing this to the end.


End file.
